friday five|thirty

It's official I'm thirty. My birthday quietly passed a few days ago which is just how I like it. I've always imagined that thirty would feel like a big deal, mostly because people seem to go on about it all the time and throw big parties as if it's a thing. I'm here to say that's it not, not really. It's just another year and, no, I'm not freaked out about getting older. Life is just the same as it's always been which is wonderful.

I think it's pretty clear that I'm not a big fan of my birthday mostly because I'm terrified that if I celebrate with people I adore I'll get used to it and, then, when they get fed up with me and leave because I'm always depressed/anxious/sad I'll be worse of. I'm such a ball of fun. Anyway, I may not be a big fan of my birthday but I do adore a good late gift to myself. Here's five picks --


did you finish...?

I've come to the conclusion that the phrase "did you finish?" is the worst one any human being can utter. Worse than, if you can believe it, "we need to talk". I just... I can't. Why do people say this? Or, rather, why on earth do I say this?

I'd always envisioned that once you were with your partner for a long period of time there wouldn't be a need for it. After all, I never uttered those annoying three words when I was with anyone else. Granted, I didn't tend to care whether they finished so long as I did. So why, eleven and a bit years in {or is it twelve?} am I still saying it to my Husband?

Lets just leave aside the fact that I care about his satisfaction I just... shouldn't I know him well enough to know when he's done? And even when I am 99.9% sure that he finished I still ask him. Mostly, because I grew up believing that no man would stay with me unless he was sexually satisfied but, also, because that scene in that semi sex-less Josh Hartnett movie scarred me for life. 

So, my Husband, still has to hear those cringe-worthy three words multiple times in a week/month and I feel bad for the guy and, also, for my ears. I detest the phrase as much as people detest moist

I want to stop asking.

I need to stop asking.

But I can't stop asking.

And, also, I'm scared that if I do stop I'll become one of those weirdos who examines semen content and that's just weird. 


guest post|how to deal with your post-baby body

*image supplied

What most (new) mothers never speak of is the fact that, apart from bringing their angel into this world, not everything is as happy as it seems. While most post-baby talks come down to being overweight, i.e. finding ways to deal with the extras after giving birth, things are more complex than that, and – if you’ve given birth recently, you know this by your own example. If, however, you’re about to give birth and you have no idea what’s in store for you, join the crew of new mums who are reading these lines to help themselves overcome a few postpartum body dilemmas and problems they are facing. 

Your hair will fall off

Most new moms start panicking when they see their hair falling off in strands; be the exception to that. Obviously, losing your hair cannot be a pleasant experience but you should know that the hair you lose after giving birth will grow back within a few months or a year. The hormonal changes in your body are the reason the hair is changing structure but once the hormones are back in balance, you are good to go. Light scalp massages, PH neutral shampoos and non-invasive hair treatments may help. If you are afraid you’ll go bald, you won’t. However, if you feel like you’d feel more comfortable with a shorter do, have your hair cut short and rock a pixie cut for a while.

Your breasts will hurt

Most new moms suffer from sore nipples and painful breastfeeding straight after giving birth. This often happens because the milk glands are swollen after the delivery, causing the breasts to get unusually firm and sensitive to touch. Luckily, you’ll have a nurse and your OBGYN to consult with and avoid being in pain more than you have to. One of the ways to help your breasts hurt less while you breastfeed is relying on a nursing jumper with good support, it will help you stay comfortable as you are moving around with your baby while providing comfort for the breasts.

 You’ll be overweight

As you are aware, we live in the world that doesn’t really tolerate imperfections and that promotes “healthy living” by bombarding us with celebrity-promoted lifestyles, habits and actions that, for the most part, do not have a single connective thread with our lives. One of the celebrity-inspired hypes is the post-delivery recovery; although you may have gasped in awe seeing amazingly toned post-baby bodies of celebs like Gisele Bundchen, Beyonce and others who have gotten in shape after just a few weeks of giving birth, accept the fact that your body may not be as banging after your delivery.  No, there’s nothing wrong with you – you just don’t have tailored menus, personal trainers, chefs and nutrition experts, nannies and other supporting staff helping you get in shape. Accept that your body is going through a change and that your stomach (i.e. baby belly) won’t go away for a few months. In fact, you might still look like you are pregnant even a few months after the delivery. Still, you’ll see the belly gradually go away and your whole body will slim down as you start regaining strength, stability and your hormones return to balance. The best form of a workout after giving birth are light walks or post-delivery pilates and yoga sessions. 

 You’ll have constant mood swings

Nope, the mood swings aren’t reserved for PMS only; once you give birth, you’ll be on a constant rollercoaster of moods you won’t be able to explain. If you notice you are starting to feel different, more sensitive and easily ticked off, know that you are going through a normal stage of post-baby recovery. If, however, you start feeling like you are becoming depressed, unwilling to hold your baby or talk to anyone, please talk to a professional. Postpartum depression is more common than you think, and it’s best dealt with early on.

Dear ladies, we hope we helped. Embrace your post-baby body with grace and rock every single aspect of the recovery process!
This was a guest post from Brigitte Evans. All opinions and ideas expressed here are her own. For more from Brigitte you can find her here.



planner love|twenty-eighteen picks

As soon as October hits my mind instantly goes to planner picks for the upcoming year. I will always be a pen to paper girl. Planners just make me happy. Here are my picks for 2018 --

one. Rifle Paper Co. 2018 Floral Planner -- a horizontal lined planner with the gorgeous designs Rifle Paper Co. are known for.
two. Floral Stitches Erin Condren LifePlanner -- veritcal, horizontal and/or hourly with new and improved paper and even more minimal designs.
three. Kikki-K 2018 Neon Planner -- a simple pink weekly neon planner. 
four. Louis Vuitton 2018 Weekly Agenda -- I have no idea what it even looks like inside but I'm so madly in love with the cover on this that it had to make the cut.
five. Kate Spade Scatter Dot 17 Month Agenda -- a black background with gold dots is just divine. The planner comes with gold stickers and adorable quotes.
six. Ban.Do 2018 Rose Parade 17 Month Agenda -- adorably quirky like all Ban.Do goodies. A horizontal planner with fun stickers and designs.   


the conditioner realisation

I have recently come to the smartest conclusion in the entire world. I'm not sure I'm ever going to be able to beat this. Ok, here it is --

You know how they always have small bottles of shampoo and conditioner and then only a big bottle of conditioner? Not all companies do this but many do. And for so long I could never understand why and I refused to buy the small bottle of shampoo and big bottle of conditioner because they weren't equal and that messes with my head. I like to have my things lined up perfectly and I just couldn't cope. It also just made no sense whatsoever because... why?

And then it hit me.... conditioner always runs out before shampoo so, of course, buying a small bottle of the latter and big one of the former makes perfect sense. I don't know why I never noticed it before. I don't want to think that I'm really dumb but...

So, has everybody been doing this the entire time? Or have I really, truly, discovered the perfect way to stop everyone shouting at the never ending bottle of shampoo in the shower?


being mum|sharing & b.

I've always approached parenting in a completely honest way. Always sharing everything with B. and never lying to her. Even in times where I knew it could hurt her because that's just who I am. I've always thought that we're raising B. to be an adult and have never really enjoyed treating her like a kid. I like to expect the same of her as I would of any adult with some exceptions, of course.

I've never really seen the point in sugar coating things. When she asked me what sex was I told her {and, yes, I found myself, despite my best intentions and, really, mostly, believing in the contrary that it happens when two consenting "love each other very much"}. When she asked why we don't see my parents I told her that I didn't love them and they weren't parents I wanted. We've discussed child birth and when she asks why I'm crying I tell her. 

Of course, I omit details. I've never told her I have anxiety or depression and always write off these "episodes" as a headache or feeling sick. I don't think she's old enough for that. I've told her why we can no longer see certain people anymore. I've held her while she cried about the loss of someone, still around but unable to be visited, talked to or, really, talked about. She and I discuss a lot.

But, lately, I worry that I'm too quick to be open with her. That maybe I don't sugar coat enough. Recently, Husband received some health news that may mean he has to have surgery and we didn't even think twice about discussing it around her. It wasn't until she became frightened and talked about losing him that it hit me -- maybe we shouldn't have shared that with her. Or maybe we should have, maybe it was the right thing to do, and she'll become even more resilient for it? But does a six year old need that much resilience? Shouldn't she be shielded just a bit longer?

Does she really need to know everything? Do we, as her parents, really have to be that honest? Can't she hold onto a sugary childhood just a little bit longer? 


friday five|i need these

I don't know what's going on with me but, lately, my two favourite things -- reading & writing -- have given me anything but joy. I've also lost my taste for shopping. I just... I don't know. No idea. I'm kind of lost but I'm feeling slightly more like my materialistic self because these five things have made me all lust-y again --

Wizard of Oz Nightie|Peter Alexander -- I'll be the first to admit that I despise the Wizard of Oz, and anything relating to it, but I still need this nightie.

Minnie Mouse Bow Studs|Couture Kingdom -- I'm still extremely partial to an adorable bow stud.

Harry Potter Wizard Gown|Peter Alexander -- so Peter Alexander has come out with more HP pyjamas. I've been wishing for this day since I missed out last time but the range is largely meh {for women -- the men & kid ranges are adorable} aside from this gown. I feel like it'll help ease the pain of the slow realisation that, maybe, Hogwarts isn't real...?

Wizard of Oz Ruby Slippers|Peter Alexander -- I know, I have such a one track mind. Peter Alexander all the time which I'm sure is hideously boring but I can't help it. I need these. They also have a matching kids pair which, surely, means B. needs a pair too?

Volupte Tint-In-Oil|Mecca -- I've heard wonderful things about these lip oils. My pick is their cherry selection.