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  • Writer's pictureJaye Gaff

You'll Get Shit On No Matter What

I'm tossing up whether I should become a motivational speaker or a quote maker. What do you think?

You'll get shit on on matter what so shit yourself first...

It could use some work but the heart is there. I feel this way about parenting quite a lot because I didn't have a hard pregnancy, labour, or baby. Pregnancy was actually really fun for me. I adored that closeness and the sickness I felt made me feel more secure -- that the life was still there. Did I also suffer crippling panic attacks and anxiety whenever I left the house? Sure bloody did. Labour wasn't too bad. I kept thinking if I wasn't dead yet it was fine. I didn't have drugs and I only pushed for 33 minutes. Did I get treated like shit by the nurses at the hospital because I was "so young"? Sure, bloody did.

My baby slept pretty much from the get-go. She went through a a few scattered days where she decided to shatter our happy little bubble but, other than that, I didn't suffer the sleeplessness that people talk about. Before I gave birth I asked someone if you had to wake the baby up to feed and everyone laughed at me. And while I didn't have to wake B. up to feed she slept in 5-6 hour stretches from the day we brought her home.

She refused to breastfeed. I didn't get the baby blues. She started eating solids at 4 months. I didn't suffer from PND. Life was pretty fucking fabulous and it's continued that way with her ever since.

Life around us has been messy and shitty and anxiety ridden. But never with B. I have never hated any age of hers (yet!). We didn't see much of the terrible twos or threes or whatever else there is. Or maybe I just didn't notice. I can be pretty dim but she's pretty fucking wonderful if I do say so myself.

I have been told it's because I'm so laidback which is not a way I would describe myself. Me? Laidback? From the beginning I have a had wonderful examples of what not to do and I think that really helps. I also firmly remember having a mother who sang and danced with me and then one day it just stopping as if she couldn't handle the traumas life brought her so she took it out on her children. My mother has actually been the perfect example in my life whenever B. has done something a bit shitty. There is no sarcasm here. I am actually really grateful to her for that.

Can you imagine? Thanks for being so shit, it's meant so much to me...

Righto, you bloody freak.

The other day I posted something on Instagram on how much I adore my child and I hesitated at actually posting it because I feel like you're not supposed to say that. It's seen as "rubbing it in" to other mums who don't feel that way. You're not allowed to say that your child slept through the night at 9 weeks old (actually, it was more like 9 weeks and 5 days, I think). You're not allowed to revel in your enjoyment of parenting. Only share the shit and none of the glow.

And, trust me, there is shit. And there will be more shit to come because that's just life isn't it? And you get those people that say just you wait or that you have no idea because you only have one kid. I get that. But, also, I love my kid and I love being her parent and she and I have always just clicked and she's made it really bloody easy. I am still very firmly the parent and she is still the kid and, maybe, my version of parenting isn't what you think it should be but, you know what?

I just don't give a shit.

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