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  • Writer's pictureJaye Gaff

TikTok Made Me Realise Men Are Shit

I recently told my best friend that I hate white men. She gestured that my Husband was around and could hear me and I laughed and said "he knows."

To be fair, he's always known that I have, for the most part, always hated men. They are stupid and gross but lately TikTok has made me realise just how fucking stupid they are.

Do I let them bother my life? No. They aren't worth being bothered over.

Do I think my Husband appreciated a change in his wife? Yes and no. Mostly, this has always been me. Opinionated. Refusing to back down. Loudly disliking people, especially men. Lately, however, through people at work and on TikTok videos I have come to realise that men are the absolute worst.

Even my Husband.

I think that change in me may have been stark and confronting especially when I decided I was done helping him educate himself.

We have been married for 12 years and, up until recently, he still asked me what needed to be done around the house. I had to remind him constantly about appointments and things we were doing and when he forgot and I got upset he would say "you know I don't remember stuff and that's just me."

Emotional labour.

Toxic masculinity.

Weaponised incompetence.

I always thought I was very aware of all of these things and would refuse to put up with any man's bullshit but recent events have made me realise that I'd been putting up with more than I'd ever known.

I spent so long asking my Husband to read all of these informative articles and books that helped me along the way and then I just gave up. I got bored educating him, and other stupid men, on how to be better humans. They can educate themselves.

I want to focus on informing myself. Staying angry for the right reasons. Refusing to back down. Doing the work as a white woman to become better informed on race. Informing my daughter.

So I'm going to to continue watching TikTok videos, adding songs to the playlist B. and I made For When Old White Men Are Stupid, continue getting angry about what makes me passionate.

I realise now, I'm becoming that women in her 30's that people used to joke about - supposedly jaded and annoying - I really fucking love it.

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