There’s something about anal
I take great pride in loving sex. I love porn. I love giving blowjobs (or did, when my jaw could open). I love sex toys. I love sex shops. I love porn. I love it all. Except anal.
I hate anal.
The first time I had anal was with this guy I was fucking. He tried it. I screamed. He refused to take it out. I swore off anal.
But then Husband and I tried it just for shits and giggles. Without lube. And I despised it.
And I hated myself for that. Because I like sex! And anal is something I want to love. I don’t want to be one of those prudish people who hates things. So we tried again. With lube and toys. And I still hated it.
It wasn’t pleasurable.
The sensation reminded me of labour.
It didn’t feel orgasmic.
It just feels weird.
But I don’t want it to. I want to like all sex things. I like being spanked. I like having my hair pulled. I like doggy style and 69. I like it all.
But I don’t like this. And for some ridiculous reason I’m insanely disappointed in myself.