• Jaye Gaff

Sex & candy

Does anyone remember that episode of Sex and the City when Miranda is complaining about that woman on TV who starts moaning as soon as the penis goes in? I'm vague and fuzzy on the details but this comment sticks with me because I am that woman and it always made me feel weird.

I always moan as it's going in because it feels amazing and once it's fully in it's like my vagina feels complete. I realise it's corny but it's like that penis was made for me. It fits perfectly and curves just enough so the tip touches my g-spot. All this oversharing to say, the penis going in is almost as pleasurable as an orgasm itself.

One of my friends tells me that I am in a minority here. I orgasm multiple times during foreplay and sex. The first one from penetrative sex comes in the first few second or so and most of that comes from simply having a dick inside me. And as much as I don't want to judge myself based on other's experiences I feel like a fucking sex fiend freak.

I don't moan for his pleasure. I have always been vocal during sex and it's not something I realise I'm doing until after the fact. I don't act like a porn star to please anyone. For me, it's just an intrinsic part of sex and as soon as he bends me over, slides in and I can feel him staring at me I feel all kinds of pleasure. But I still feel like there's something wrong with me. That I'm the one doing it wrong. That I shouldn't be moaning at that first thrust. And there's tons of shitty articles out there that say if a woman is too vocal at first she's likely faking it.

Okay so I shouldn't be bothered by it and I'm not actually bothered enough to stop being me but, for some reason, I feel very protective of the fact that I am an early moaner. I'm not much into foreplay so the second the penis goes in I'm very much ready to orgasm, mostly because I'm gagging for it (I despise that term, btw).

Instead of defending myself I need to accept that every woman is different and what's right for me isn't going to be right for everyone... yet, I still can't let go of the feeling that something's wrong with me.

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