• Jaye Gaff

In a happy marriage you should always go to bed angry


One piece of advice I remember my mother giving me was to never go to bed angry. This is the worst advice in the history of bad advice. You should always go to bed angry. Here’s why — no late night argument has ever been solved by staying up. Go the fuck to sleep.


Husband and I used to live by this horrifically bad rule. It never worked for us and, come morning, it meant we were exhausted and even more frustrated. Some time along the way we decided to ditch this madness because it bloody well sucks.


Now we go to bed angry and it’s bliss. I’ve since discovered that I am the best angry sleeper. My anger fuels me to have the perfect revenge sleep. It’s almost as if I think me waking up refreshed is the best punishment of all.


My psychopathy aside, it really is okay to hit pause on an argument because it’s late and you‘re tired. Go to sleep. Wake up and then discuss it if there’s still more to be said.


There, of course, needs to be exceptions to the rule. Don’t go to sleep if you’ve just confessed a life-altering secret (cough - Husband - cough). If you’re having a regular run-of-the-mill argument just agree to disagree. Agree to hit pause. Sleep on it. The majority of the time the thing you were arguing about is such a none issue that nothing more needs to be said the next day.


This, along with never sharing blankets, is, quite honestly, my best piece of marriage advice. I can’t imagine ever going back to the time when we decided yawn-filled 3am arguments were a good idea.





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