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  • Writer's pictureJaye Gaff

I Wouldn’t Get Up For Much But I Would Get Up For…

I've recently started to revel in my laziness. I am a lazy person and I love it. Do we need a better word for lazy? Sure. Do I want to come up with a better word than lazy? Yes I do. Will I? No. No I will not.

Anyway... I have realised there are many things I won't get out of the deliciousness of bed for. Water. No sir. Toilet. Nope. In fact, that episode of Euphoria when Rue got a kidney infection... I felt that deep in my bones. I could do that. I want to do that. I ache to do that.

I will not get out of bed to brush my teeth but I will brush my teeth in bed. I may not shower twice a day some days but I have recently discovered there is ONE thing I will get out of bed for.


That is not a euphemism.

Actual sauce.

I was eating oven baked chips and Southern chicken poppers and I ran out of garlic sauce so I actually got up and got the fucking sauce.

Coming from the girl who spent ages staring at a glass of ice in Winter, while home alone, until it all melted so I could have a drink, well, this is a revelation.

I do have motivation. I do have dreams. Aspirations. Goals.

And they revolve around garlic sauce. And nothing else.

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