• Jaye Gaff

I’m not like other girls…



One thing I’ve made sure to tell B. is “I’/you’re not like other girls” is a complete and utter trash fire of a statement. Because what does it actually mean? That you’re none of the “bad” things society has made you believe are wrong about women. And isn’t that shit?


Because we should be able to own being needy, talkative, obsessed with shopping, and whatever the fuck else we’re supposed to believe is bad. And what kind of person needs to tear people down (or needs someone else to tear them down) in order to feel better about themselves? Seriously, is that the personality you want to go with?


I‘ve consistently been told that I’m not like other girls — the main point of this statement to say: you’re better than these other bitches. Because I like sex and porn and video games? Because when I started drinking I gravitated toward beer? Because I love sucking dick?

It’s all bullshit. Because, yes, I am all of those things. I also own up to being really fucking needy. I’m deliciously dramatic. I like shopping. I never shut the fuck up.


I‘ve also been told by men that I only like beer to please them. Some refused to buy me beer and instead saddled with me drinks they thought were more feminine. I’ve been told that women liking porn is “weird”. Questioned what porn I liked (girl on girl, obviously) because they didn’t believe me, as if liking porn is some grand deception. Told, of course, I like The Hobbit more than LOTR because I’m a woman and that’s such a “girly” thing to do.


Fuck off.


So, really, the most important thing to know — never surround yourself with people who determine your worth by what other people do. And never fall into the trap of trying not to be girly or whatever the fuck you want to be. None of it actually matters.


And what if someone does say “you’re not like other girls”? Never speak to them again. They’ve shown who they are. Believe them.

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