• Jaye Gaff

Challenging the "How Dare They?"



You know that question: what do people get wrong about you? a.k.a what impression do people get from you when they first meet you? For me?


Quiet.


Rude.


Snob.


Bitch.


Slut.


I may be all of those things or, I may have been some of those things at some points in my life. I was definitely slutty before I met the Husband. I was quiet. Reserved. Closed off. All of those things boiled down to one thing and it's not being an introvert.


I'm scared. I'm getting better. But I'm scared. I'm scared to let people in. My parents didn't love me. They actively hurt me. I was physically and emotionally injured at work. I have been sexually assaulted in front of police and... nothing. In places where I was supposed to be safe I wasn't and, so, I closed off and that's okay. I'm allowed to be that way and I'm allowed to say -- I'm safest here and I don't want to, or can't, do the work to fix it.


People all have their issues. We don't know what anyone's story is. Instead of judging people and being hurt by quietness I invite you, challenge you, to start shifting your perspective. Nobody deals with life in the same way. Let people open up in their own time. Some people never will and that's okay too.


Stop getting outraged. Stop asking how dare they? Their issues are not a reflection on you. Heck, they're not even, really, a reflection on them.

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