that married life|reasons my husband is a disappointment

Sometimes I like to joke around that the only reason I married my Husband is because he drugged me until we said I do/I was pregnant so I'd have to be stuck with his balding head for the rest of my life. Really though, I married him because, despite all his faults, he's my best friend and he loves me for me {lame jokes and all}. But, look, life isn't all sunshine and roses and there are a few massive {huge!} things that fucker has done during the course of our relationship that have me made question our entire marriage. In the interest of absolute honesty I'm sharing them and, maybe, I can help someone else with disappointments such as these {who knows?} --

1. He doesn't know who Selby is. That devastates my self esteem. Selby Speaks was just a big part of my childhood. I was almost as obsessed with Duncan Ball as much as R.L.Stein. I remember the first time I asked him if he'd read Selby and he replied incredulously as if I'd made up the talking the dog. I imagine the hurt, torment and devastation would be akin to him saying now that he'd never heard of Truman Capote and, actually, his Selby-less life still burns.

2. He had never watched the end credits of Bring It On. Who is this person I've married? A stranger who never danced to Hey Mickey pretending to be a cheerleader with his friends at sleepovers that's who.

3. It took him about five minutes to remember what Genie From Down Under was. Ugh. And then, when we watched the trailer he didn't act like it was the best show in the entire world. 

4. He doesn't share my belief that Piranha DD is one of the best movies alive. He'll watch it happily with me but I know, deep down, that he thinks it's ridiculous and not, quite simply {and truthfully}, a true cinematic masterpiece.

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