misadventures in parenting|a bone to pick

I have a bone to pick with B. Don't let this sweet little face fool you. She's evil.

So, here's the thing -- Bailey likes to wake up at stupid times like 6:38am. She comes into my bed for snuggles. On most school days Husband is already at work and has been for a few hours. It's just her and I. Sure, it's lovely but it's also 6 fucking 38 in the morning and that's not okay. After she tires of snuggles she'll usually get up and go do her own thing. Before she does this she asks "what time do you want to get up mum?" and I'll grumble something stupid like "quarter past never" and she says "ugh mum!" and goes off on her merry way.

But here's where it gets sticky -- I eventually counter with a 7:30am wake up time. This is the latest possible time that I am able to get up on a school day. This gives me time to get up, get B. breakfast, help her remember her morning jobs {feed the dogs, make her bed, help with laundry}, tell her to get ready for school, make her lunch, have a shower, make my bed, etc. It also allows time for my stupidity {finding my keys, forgetting B's hat, locking the doors} and B's dawdling {brushing teeth mostly} and those other annoying things -- why is there toothpaste on her shirt and skort thing? Ugh, her Converse are still too tight and are being a pain in my ass. Sand -- everywhere. All of those things.

The thing with my evil child is -- she likes to let me sleep. How she dare. She also gets as distracted as I do. Squirrel. So the next thing I know is B. is waking me up with cuddles and trying to steal my toasty {she's allowed, she's cute} and telling me it's 8:04 am. Crap. I have tried to tell her that I am clearly not functioning and I need to be dragged out of bed. It's so comfy and toasty and if you stick your feet out just right it's so fucking delicious. But she can't be trusted. She can't even get me out of bed at a reasonable time. Who the hay does she think she is?

I honestly don't know what to do with her. 

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