12/26/2017

j rants|bust a move

I've been listening to the song Bust a Move a lot in the car, mostly, because it's our favourite place to dance/sing/act foolish and this song is perfect for all of those things. But the song makes me mad. Actually, scratch that, one part of the song infuriates me. And the frustration lingers well after the song is finished. Here's what --

Your best friend Harry has a brother Larry
In five days from now he's gonna marry
He's hopin' you can make it there if you can
Cause in the ceremony you'll be the best man

What? Why? How?

This makes no sense whatsoever. If your best friend's brother is getting married why would you be the best man? Would the brother not be the best man and/or someone else close to the groom? And if you were, in fact, close with Larry wouldn't Larry himself be calling you, and presumably more than five days before the event, to ask you to do him the honour of being best man?

I think about this a lot. I rant about this too much for a normal functioning human being but... why? Husband reasons that, perhaps, the original best man got sick or they had a falling out or he died. But in that case why is Harry not the best man? Do men think this way? Does Harry not care? Is Harry already a groomsman? But, if so, can he not relinquish groomsman duties to the protagonist so he can be best man? Or did he grow up with Harry and Larry and they're all BFF's for life? What's the deal? What's happening? I need to know.

Also, has anybody else spent their whole life thinking this song is about sex? And now "bust a move" is about dancing? I don't know...

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