9/25/2017

being mum|sharing & b.

I've always approached parenting in a completely honest way. Always sharing everything with B. and never lying to her. Even in times where I knew it could hurt her because that's just who I am. I've always thought that we're raising B. to be an adult and have never really enjoyed treating her like a kid. I like to expect the same of her as I would of any adult with some exceptions, of course.

I've never really seen the point in sugar coating things. When she asked me what sex was I told her {and, yes, I found myself, despite my best intentions and, really, mostly, believing in the contrary that it happens when two consenting "love each other very much"}. When she asked why we don't see my parents I told her that I didn't love them and they weren't parents I wanted. We've discussed child birth and when she asks why I'm crying I tell her. 

Of course, I omit details. I've never told her I have anxiety or depression and always write off these "episodes" as a headache or feeling sick. I don't think she's old enough for that. I've told her why we can no longer see certain people anymore. I've held her while she cried about the loss of someone, still around but unable to be visited, talked to or, really, talked about. She and I discuss a lot.

But, lately, I worry that I'm too quick to be open with her. That maybe I don't sugar coat enough. Recently, Husband received some health news that may mean he has to have surgery and we didn't even think twice about discussing it around her. It wasn't until she became frightened and talked about losing him that it hit me -- maybe we shouldn't have shared that with her. Or maybe we should have, maybe it was the right thing to do, and she'll become even more resilient for it? But does a six year old need that much resilience? Shouldn't she be shielded just a bit longer?

Does she really need to know everything? Do we, as her parents, really have to be that honest? Can't she hold onto a sugary childhood just a little bit longer? 

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