8/28/2017

on sarcasm & b.

It's safe to say that I'm pretty much sarcastic all of the time. I used to use it as a defense mechanism to get through some pretty crappy stuff. And then, after holding it in for most of childhood {getting punished for being sarcastic got old pretty quickly}, it kind of burst free from me when Husband and I first started dating. Now, well, I can't really help it. Being a sarcastic bitch is just who I am. I like it.

I am drawn to people who are sarcastic, who can take my stupid humor and who can give it back. Husband, while not as naturally hilarious as I am, has learnt to love me, sarcasm and all. I have friends who can bite back. I like that. As I get older I realise that I can't stand people who get offended easily, who can't call me a whore to my face, who can't understand that I'm just joking, that this is who I am. I don't want to change.

But here's the thing, my kid is only six and she doesn't quite get the whole sarcasm thing yet. She's learning but she hasn't learnt the fine art of my stupid mouth and, so, when I tell her we can like her dad now because of a work achievement she believes me. And she repeats multiple times to her father this statement and I worry... I worry that she thinks it's true, that this is how we value people. No matter how many times I explain to her that I was just joking, that I'm stupid, that I shouldn't be taken seriously she kind of takes me seriously. 

So, do I stop being sarcastic? Because I'm not quite sure I can. I'd rather lose friends {and I have} who can't handle it than have to filter myself. I only tone myself down around people I don't like so when I'm quiet it's because you bore me. If I'm sarcastic and tell you I hate you it's because I adore you. I don't see what's so hard about that...

But, if I'm setting my child up for failure then I have to shut the hell up don't I?

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