8/07/2017

on healthy eating

I need to be a real dick for a second and complain about something stupid -- comments on what I eat, particularly on "how healthy" my breakfast/lunch/dinner/snack is. It infuriates me when people do this. I can't help myself. I know that they are just making conversation. I know they're not being rude and I know I need to get the fuck over it but I can't.

Here's the thing -- I love food. All the food. Ok, well, most of the food {pineapple on pizza should not be a thing}. I love eating {if you've seen me that much is clear} but I don't define food in terms of "good" and "bad". When I eat my regular lunch of carrot sticks {with the addition of capsicum sticks if I'm really hungry} I don't think to myself that I'm being healthy or good. I'm just eating what I love and, man, do I love carrot sticks. So when I'm eating a salad and somebody tells me how "good I am" and how they need to try harder to be healthy "like me" I get really annoyed. Because I'm not eating a salad to be good. I'm eating it because it's fucking delicious. End of story.

Steamed chicken and veggies may happen to be one of my most favourite meals in the world and I may favour brown rice and quinoa over white. I'm not really all that into bread and when I do get a hankering for it it's always loaded with seeds. I adore fruit and could happily eat berries every day of my life. A day without carrot sticks feels like a day wasted. I actually love drinking water. But... and this is a huge but...

I also eat chocolate for breakfast. And I'd rather skip dinner and go straight to dessert. I don't see this as "bad". I just see it as what I feel like eating. And here's the thing I eat what I feel like whenever I feel like it. The majority of the time that just so happens to be carrot sticks and fruit. But when I crave pasta or pizza, chocolate or lollies, salt & vinegar chips or Doritos, I eat them and I never feel guilty for it. Because it's just food. Because I don't see cookies as inherently bad for me and I don't feel proud or accomplished because I enjoy carrot sticks and kale juice.  

I know I'm being entirely grinch-y here and people aren't commenting on how "good" I am to be unkind but, ugh, it bugs me. I used to view food as "good" and "bad" and I used to beat myself up about what I ate and, so, I ate barely anything. I used to take painkillers to kill hunger pains and I thought I was so hideously fat that I hated myself. And then, my then boyfriend {now Husband} got frustrated at my bad habits {and then proceeded to buy me a pot plant to apologise for the outburst which I kind-of accidentally killed a week later} and I started eating more. I started enjoying food and enjoying life. And, sure, I put on a heck of a lot of weight and for a time there I had no idea about portions but I was happy and I actually liked my body with the extra weight on.

And pregnant I enjoyed my body. And ate a heck of a lot of hot chips.

And after birth I enjoyed my body. And ate, maybe, some more hot chips.

And now I enjoy my body and I still enjoy hot chips. I just happen to like carrot sticks more.  

So can we stop defining food as either "good" and "bad"? Because it's really fucking annoying.

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