7/13/2017

being mum|things i hate hearing

As a parent it's kind of a given that you're going to hear a lot of crap. Most of it well meaning. The rest judgmental. Since I never really listen to anybody and let most snarky comments go I've never been too bothered with people talking to me about parenting but there are just some things that are far too annoying. I can't let them go anymore. I don't care how well meaning you are. Stop with the following --

1. "and how does mum feel about school holidays?" said after asking B. how much she is loving them. Why don't I get asked how much I'm loving them? Because I do. In fact, B. wishes they didn't go for so long and I wish they lasted until the end of time because my kid is fun and I adore her. In the same vein -- "I bet you're glad school holidays are over!" -- no, actually, I'm usually in a ball crying when school goes back. I don't look forward to the end at all. 

2. "don't you want a break?" said after knowing I've never spent a night away from B. Or when I admit that she's never had a babysitter. I do have a break, by the way, every night when she goes to bed and when she's at school. When she was a baby I didn't leave her until she was 10 months old. I went to the movies with some friends and I was a nervous wreck. But those 10 months before that weren't draining and I didn't crave time away. I didn't, and don't need a break that means leaving her. I don't care when other people do the opposite but it's just not for me. To me, a break is a quiet shower and a face mask. That's all I need.

3. "don't you hate going shopping with her?" said, usually, incredulous that I don't. I don't care that people think shopping with kids is the worst. It may well be for you but for me it's fun. I love it. B. and I just have fun together and yeah, sure, other parents and kids do too but shopping with B. {food or otherwise} has never been a chore. I guess it kind of helps that B. is my mini-me and that I still adore toy shopping but, still, can people stop with the cliches please?

4. "doesn't your marriage suffer?" because, duh, marriages and kids don't mix. Except they do because mine does. Husband and I don't miss out on anything really important and B. just makes life that much more fun.

5. "do you ever have time for sex?" because, apparently, once you have kids you only ever have time for rushed sex while they're watching TV or you're too tired to do it. I know we're lucky because B. has always slept well but we've never had to barricade a door to get a quickie in and I've never been too tired to have sex. Sex makes me sleepy, sure, but it also energises me so there's no excuse really. 

6. "don't you wish she...?" said, usually, about B. liking to wear her shoes on the wrong feet or enjoying her own company. Look, the shoe thing is weird and yes I insist she wears them properly if she's going to be wearing them for an extended period of time. But she likes it so if we're running to the shops she can go for it. And no, I don't wish my kid was more social. I don't think she's weird for enjoying her own company. I'm trying to help her become an adult and the best version of herself and when she's older she's going to need to spend a heck of a lot of time alone. And, seriously, I could think of nothing worse than raising someone who can't enjoy being alone. That's sad.

7. "being a mum is exhausting isn't it?" no and I think you're an idiot.

8. "you're so lucky your Husband helps with her!" Sure, I realise that I am lucky to have Husband but, no, I am not lucky that my daughter has a father who acts like a father. Nobody is lucky to have a partner who doesn't view parenting as "baby sitting". That's just being a normal functioning human being and luck has nothing to do with it.

9. "don't you wish school went for longer?" no effin' way! Six hours is five hours and fifty nine minutes too long. 

10. "ugh, you're so lucky, being a stay-at-home mum! I wish I could watch Disney movies all day!" actually this one is true. Man, I miss Disney marathons.

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