the problem with porn...

I was watching porn the other night with Husband when it hit me -- there's a massive issue with pornography. And no, it's not sperm in the eyeball... It's pimply butts. 

The girls are completely hairless which is fine. I don't buy into the entire removal of body hair. I have a daughter and I remember growing up, growing hair, and feeling like a freak. I feel like I owe B. a better experience than that. But... whatever. You do you. I don't care. I like the hairless look {just not on guys} and I like au naturale. And, to be honest, I'm watching porn to a) get off and b) because it's fun. I'm not that picky. Except, it seems, when it comes to the girl's butts.

Why are they so meticulous with body hair but not the skin on their cheeks? Why am I seeing multiple pimples on butts? Do people get oily butts? This bothers me for ridiculously inane reasons that don't really matter but still...

I understand pimples happen but when you've taken so much care to remove all your body hair why not spend a few more minutes in that general area to ensure your backside is blemish free? 

I just don't get it...

It'd be one thing if this was pimple fetish porn but I steer clear of that section on RedTube {et al.}. I'm scared of poop! All I want is to sit in bed or on a couch with my Husband, watch a girl bend over and not see pimples on her behind. Is that too much to ask?


Of course, there are other more serious issues with porn like that stupid "female friendly" feature. What is that? Why does females watching porn have to mean stupid "love" scenes and hideous music? Damn it! I just want to watch a gang bang in peace.


friday five|things i love

Five things that are currently making me ridiculously chuffed with life --

Matching Ronald McDonald socks. Gosh, I adore my family.

Mumma & B. boots. Perfectly matching gold glitter detail.

B. has caught the board game bug and I am so bloody grateful because I do adore a good board game. Husband and I are more "stay in and play a board game" people so the fact that B. loves them too makes my life.
Husband recently gifted me this Lumberjack Brooch from Erstwilder so I, of course, had to rush out the next day and pick up this woodland-y dress from Dangerfield to wear with. Love the details combined.

 Sometimes you meet someone who is the best person in the whole entire world {save for B. of course}. Someone who just gets you and thinks all those parts of yourself, that everyone else seems to hate, are really wonderful {or at least pretends to}. Someone who spends time making this for you and finally makes you realise {even for just a second or so} that you are worth something. That. This.


guest post|makeup must-haves for 2017

*image supplied

If you’re a passionate makeup lover who can’t wait to try out new products launched by the most prominent beauty brands, welcome to the club! Stay with us and keep on reading if you want to learn something more about the makeup must-haves for 2017 since these are the products you can use to come up with a flawless 5-minute look when you’re in a rush!

Artis Elite Mirror Oval 8 Brush
Even though this Artis brush looks more like a toothbrush than like a makeup brush, the fact is that it will flawlessly apply your makeup in just a few swipes. It actually has the bristles on its side, rather than at the end of the brush like other convenient brushes, which is exactly what makes it so special.

Inika Cosmetics Foundation
If you’re looking for a product with certified organic ingredients that provides intense hydration, Inika cosmetics foundation is what you need! This product is rich in antioxidants, minerals and vitamins that will illuminate your skin to the max. It also features hyaluronic acid, which helps in smoothing wrinkles.

MAC Ruby Woo Lipstick
Ruby Woo is one of the most popular lipstick shades in the world, and experts claim that this shade of red actually looks amazing on almost all skin colors. That’s what makes this product so loved by the women from all over the globe. You definitely won’t make a mistake if you pick it!

Laura Mercier Face Illuminator
Highlighting is the most raved about makeup technique these days, and Laura Mercier’s Face Illuminator is a product that will help you achieve that healthy look without being too over-the-top. If that’s not enough for you, don’t worry – it’s buildable so that you can go for any look you want!

Benefit Hoola Bronzing Powder
Benefit’s well-known Hoola bronzer is one of the UK’s best-selling products for a good reason. It offers a flawless matt finish, completely free from shimmer, which will allow you to cut those cheeks like a pro. No wonder that it’s become an icon in the beauty industry!

Maybelline Master Precise Liquid Eyeliner
Finding a perfect, smudge-free liquid eyeliner can be a very challenging task, but you definitely won’t go wrong if you pick a Maybelline Master Precise one. Apart from its impeccable performance, one of the best things about it is its price – it’s extremely affordable, which makes it great for every budget!

Smashbox Photo Finish Foundation Primer
Everyone knows that a primer is the Holy Grail when it comes to a perfect makeup look, and Smashbox has really stepped up its game by launching a wide range of primers to suit different skin types and their requirements. The original one, Photo Finish Foundation Primer, is still the best-selling one for a good reason – it provides highly-required silky texture and smooth finish.

Anastasia Beverly Hills Brow Wiz
The creator of this eyebrow pencil is called the Queen of Brows, which is exactly why you should pick this product as soon as possible. Its retractable tip and a spoolie with soft bristles are everything you need for perfectly sculpted brows, so don’t search any longer and get this product right now!

Bioderma Sensibio H20 Micellar Water
Last but not least, micellar water is an absolute must for removing your makeup and cleansing your face like a pro. Bioderma’s Sensibio H20 is the 1st and only dermatological micellar water which will successfully remove your makeup and cleanse your face while soothing irritated skin. It’ll provide a feeling of instant freshness, which is why you should get it ASAP!

As you can see, there are so many beauty products you simply have to have in your collection in order to come up with any makeup look – from simpler ones for every day, to more complex looks.

This was a guest post from Samantha Braddy -- find her at highlifestyle.


mental health|the kill yourself migraine

So often I've heard and been told that when your depression and anxiety gets really bad you should get up, get out, do something. Yet, the more I force myself to be somebody I'm not the more my head screams for me to just end the suffering. I find that doing the exact opposite of all the advice is what's best but it's something I easily forget. So, as soon as I start to feel empty, like nothing, I start to force myself to get up and get out there even though it's the exact opposite of what I need.

This happens all too often. I try and force myself to be happy because I should be happy. Because there's no reason to be sad. I still struggle with my head. So I get out and get worse. Being out has never made me better. And by the time I get home my head is pounding and I know I need a shower, pyjamas and sleep. Still... I try to keep going, try to be a good mum, and not give into my head. And then, eventually, the migraine pounds to the point of nausea and I start to sob uncontrollably and dig my fingers into my forehead to try and push the pain away.

I cry to Husband that I'm never going to be better. That my head is telling me to end it already. That the good parts don't make the suffering worth it. Why can't I die already? 

It's about this point that I realise that pushing myself has made my depression worse. That I didn't have to have a reason to be depressed this morning. That I just was. And I need to learn to live with that. So I shower, get into pyjamas and crawl into bed. I sleep until a pushed back dinner time and I feel better. Much. My head isn't pounding and it doesn't scream at me to die. 

I can eat dinner with my family and I can smile because I feel happy. I can snuggle up with Husband and watch a movie well into the night and I don't have to force anything.

That migraine is the some of the worst pain I have ever experienced. Emotionally and physically. It hurts. The pain of being told by my own head to die hurts.

I need to remember to recognise the early signs of it. To stay in bed if I need it. To not worry what people will think of me. To not listen to the theory that staying in your pyjamas and in bed all day will make it worse. Because, it doesn't. Not for me.   


friday five|fave songs to workout to

If I am going to workout I need to be listening to music. There is nothing that motivates me more. Some of my top picks are utterly ridiculous and some probably quite typical. Here's my fave five --

Hey Mama from David Guetta ft. Nicki Minaj -- I may find myself dancing a little as a walk but I just adore working out with this especially as my legs start to ache and my resolve starts fading. Love it.

Scotty Doesn't Know from Lustra -- utterly ridiculous but still one of my favourite songs to walk to.

Fat Bottomed Girls from Queen -- I adore this song on its own and listen to it regularly but it's also one of the most played songs on my workout playlist. Who doesn't want to work out to a song with the words "big fat Fanny" in it?

Crazy from 4MINUTE -- Husband and B. introduced me to K-Pop and there's something about pushing through the difficult parts of a work out to this. Also, I'm crazy.

Move Bitch from Ludacris -- because obviously...


Care to share your faves to sweat to?


a fave read|this is a ball - beck & matt stanton {from the archives}

This book is our new family favourite -- This Is A Ball by Beck & Matt Stanton -- a hilarious ride and one that adults and kids will both love. 

It's a ridiculous read from the cover until the end -- you know that's not a ball but look... you know how you're right all the time? All. The. Time. Yes, well, it's time to give the kids a turn. Which is why everything you read in this book is going to be wrong. But that's okay, because the kids are going to correct you. And they're going to love it!

I think what I love most about this book, aside from how it's just utterly ridiculous, is that everyone has a different reaction to it. For example; Bailey starts to just let the ridiculous become reality and rolls with it whereas my nephew. Jet, starts to get really, rather, cross at Husband {the reader} for being so dumb.


Is that a dog?

Bailey insists it's an elephant but pssh! what does she know?


click love|youtube & trinny

I've mentioned before just how much I adore Caroline Hirons. That post went up just under one year ago and I am ever more obsessed with her now. She is amazing. She is hilarious. And she is fucking smart. To top it all off, she's now introduced me to Trinny on Instagram {her stories!} and YouTube and I'm hooked.

If there is one video you need to watch it is Trinny & Caroline together. Grab a cup of tea and delve into this 50 minutes of amazingness.

If you haven't discovered Trinny on Instagram yet -- go here.


friday five|more stuff i totally need

Because, obviously...

one. Disney Couture Charm Bracelet -- since Husband and B. gifted me Chip earrings I have become enamoured with Disney jewellery. This castle charm is simple & sweet.

two. Nip+Fab Dragon's Blood Fix Plumping Mask -- since I'm currently hooked on the Nip+Fab Dragon's Blood Cleansing Pads and the way they make my skin look and feel I am frustratingly tempted to try the Dragon's Blood mask for plumper, healthier, looking skin.

three. Erstwilder Jack Lumber Brooch -- because he reminds me of Husband and... I'm a lumber jack and I'm okay! I honestly do wear women's clothing but I don't hang around in bars... still need him though.

four. Erin Condren Life Planner -- love this blossom cover and am thinking the black coil for 2018...?

five. Peter Alexander Tartan Homeboots -- Husband and I may have decided to gift each other matching Peter Alexander pyjamas for our upcoming wedding anniversary and I may have gone a tad overboard and thrown in homeboots for good measure. Need these on my feet asap.


being mum|things i hate hearing

As a parent it's kind of a given that you're going to hear a lot of crap. Most of it well meaning. The rest judgmental. Since I never really listen to anybody and let most snarky comments go I've never been too bothered with people talking to me about parenting but there are just some things that are far too annoying. I can't let them go anymore. I don't care how well meaning you are. Stop with the following --

1. "and how does mum feel about school holidays?" said after asking B. how much she is loving them. Why don't I get asked how much I'm loving them? Because I do. In fact, B. wishes they didn't go for so long and I wish they lasted until the end of time because my kid is fun and I adore her. In the same vein -- "I bet you're glad school holidays are over!" -- no, actually, I'm usually in a ball crying when school goes back. I don't look forward to the end at all. 

2. "don't you want a break?" said after knowing I've never spent a night away from B. Or when I admit that she's never had a babysitter. I do have a break, by the way, every night when she goes to bed and when she's at school. When she was a baby I didn't leave her until she was 10 months old. I went to the movies with some friends and I was a nervous wreck. But those 10 months before that weren't draining and I didn't crave time away. I didn't, and don't need a break that means leaving her. I don't care when other people do the opposite but it's just not for me. To me, a break is a quiet shower and a face mask. That's all I need.

3. "don't you hate going shopping with her?" said, usually, incredulous that I don't. I don't care that people think shopping with kids is the worst. It may well be for you but for me it's fun. I love it. B. and I just have fun together and yeah, sure, other parents and kids do too but shopping with B. {food or otherwise} has never been a chore. I guess it kind of helps that B. is my mini-me and that I still adore toy shopping but, still, can people stop with the cliches please?

4. "doesn't your marriage suffer?" because, duh, marriages and kids don't mix. Except they do because mine does. Husband and I don't miss out on anything really important and B. just makes life that much more fun.

5. "do you ever have time for sex?" because, apparently, once you have kids you only ever have time for rushed sex while they're watching TV or you're too tired to do it. I know we're lucky because B. has always slept well but we've never had to barricade a door to get a quickie in and I've never been too tired to have sex. Sex makes me sleepy, sure, but it also energises me so there's no excuse really. 

6. "don't you wish she...?" said, usually, about B. liking to wear her shoes on the wrong feet or enjoying her own company. Look, the shoe thing is weird and yes I insist she wears them properly if she's going to be wearing them for an extended period of time. But she likes it so if we're running to the shops she can go for it. And no, I don't wish my kid was more social. I don't think she's weird for enjoying her own company. I'm trying to help her become an adult and the best version of herself and when she's older she's going to need to spend a heck of a lot of time alone. And, seriously, I could think of nothing worse than raising someone who can't enjoy being alone. That's sad.

7. "being a mum is exhausting isn't it?" no and I think you're an idiot.

8. "you're so lucky your Husband helps with her!" Sure, I realise that I am lucky to have Husband but, no, I am not lucky that my daughter has a father who acts like a father. Nobody is lucky to have a partner who doesn't view parenting as "baby sitting". That's just being a normal functioning human being and luck has nothing to do with it.

9. "don't you wish school went for longer?" no effin' way! Six hours is five hours and fifty nine minutes too long. 

10. "ugh, you're so lucky, being a stay-at-home mum! I wish I could watch Disney movies all day!" actually this one is true. Man, I miss Disney marathons.


a love letter to cadbury coconut rough

As life tends to go, the things I adore the most are notoriously hard to come across. This can be said for Allens Jubes, Natural Confectionary Unbearables and, my beloved, Cadbury Coconut Rough. Also, don't even get me started on Starburst Jelly Beans. Where on earth did they go? I tend to place a lot of importance on food and while I can't go a day without munching on some carrot sticks I also find a great deal of joy in all the things touted as "bad for you".

If you were to ask me what my favourite chocolate is {because why wouldn't you?} I would not hesitate to say -- Cadbury Coconut Rough. It is my favourite thing in the whole entire world {sorry B.} and it is notoriously hard to come by. In fact, I think they've stopped making it. I can't find it anywhere. Except, the other night, I happened upon a massive stack of it in a corner store and happily handed over the $5.50 to get my hands on a block. It is so good.

Why can nobody make coconut chocolate that is as divine as Cadbury's version?

Why have they stopped making it?

Or, if they haven't, why have easily accessible shops stopped selling it?

Now, I know I despise things that are well liked. Avocado toast. Being a normal functioning human. So, the limited availability bodes well for my dumbness but, look, it's too hard to find and it's too good to search for. I need it when I need it and not a moment later. I don't mind being another sheep if it means I can have Cadbury Coconut Rough whenever I damn well please. That's fine. I just need to be able to go my local supermarket and see it well stocked and reasonably priced. That's all.

Look, I don't ask for much in life but, listen Cadbury, my love for coconut is not something that is a fickle whim okay? I'll love coconut until the day I die so, please, don't make your Coconut Rough one of those flavours that comes and goes. Why would you do that? Why? Why? 


the mask diaries|comfort zone {with ry}

What do you think of when you hear the words comfort zone? The words only have wonderful connotations for me because my comfort zone is where I feel most beautiful and safe, mostly, because I'm with my Husband, wearing no make-up and the coziest jammies in the world. Sounds delicious right? So, of course, a brand named Comfort Zone is high on my list to try because I am easily swayed by pretty names that feel as if they were named just for me.

Comfort Zone selects the finest natural-origin active ingredients and combines them with the most advanced high-tech molecules and carrier systems to guarantee the maximum efficacy, safety and pleasantness of their products.

They're replacing silicones with nourishing oils and butters for maximum silkiness and to give skin the benefit of "real active beauty". Their products are manufactured in Italy with renewable resources.

But, look, lets be honest until I was contacted by Recreate Yourself {Australia's largest online haircare and beauty store} I'd never heard of Comfort Zone. I was lucky enough to be able to take a squizz at their products and I quickly fell madly in love with their mask range. As you may be aware I adore a good mask.

Comfort Zone's clay mask is nice and smooth, super creamy {but not runny} and wonderfully easy to apply {unlike a thicker mask which can sometimes feel as though it's pulling on the skin}. It has superb ingredients like kaolin, betonite and bisabolol that helps to absorb oil and purifies and mattifies the skin.

The mask dries within 10 minutes but doesn't get uncomfortable or itchy if left for longer. Wash off with some warm {but not boiling!} water and a nice flannel/cloth. It's super easy to remove and doesn't stick to skin so there's no rough rubbing needed. Once removed it leaves skin refreshed, smooth, moisturised and squeaky clean. 

Final thoughts: the best clay mask I have tried. 

^^my skin right after rinsing off the clay mask {with a pop of lip balm}. I was showing off my newly polished nails but my skin felt wonderful here. 

Moving on -- I quite enjoy doing a hydrating mask and eye mask/patches at the same time. It just feels right. Comfort Zone's hydrating mask is creamy and luxe and wonderful for the skin. The combination of Trehalose, Baobab Extract, Hyaluronic Acid and Rice & Jojoba Oils leave skin amazingly hydrated and plump. The mask itself isn't sticky {unlike another hydrating fellow I adore -- Origins Ginzing} and is easy to rinse off.

The Comfort Zone Sublime Skin Eye Patch/Masks leave the under-eye area smooth and soft. After removing them I felt refreshed and vaguely human {I have an awful purple under-eye area -- always anaemic}. The patches themselves are easy to use. They're not too wobbly or overly jelly-like and once they're on they don't slide down your face. 

Final thoughts: two really wonderful hard workers that definitely deserve a place in your skincare routine. 


I adore all these masks. Such a wonderful addition to my mask collection and ones that make me look forward to masking multiple times a week.

Comfort Zone does a wonderful range of other skincare items -- check them out on RY here

*I received these products courtesy of RY. As always, all opinions are my own and I was not paid for this review. 

**This post originally featured here in September 2016 -- I am re-posting from the archives as these masks are still in my top mask items of all item and are genuinely products I almost cried over finishing {particularly the hydrating mask & eye patches}. Love for this is further cemented and stronger than ever before.


current scent|lush vanillary solid perfume

I get distracted very easily when shopping. This may confuse Husband because I tend to wander but, for me, this is always a good thing because I find myself making marvellous discoveries. Case in point, this Vanillary Solid Perfume from Lush. It combines the most divine scent in easy packaging for travel. This is the kind of product you can throw in your bag without worry. The scent is also a wonderful mix of sweetness and comfort to transport you to a freshly baked treat wonderland.

Lush describes it as a sweet, yet sophisticated vanilla fragrance. With a blend of Fair Trade vanilla absolute with tonka and a hint of jasmine for a reassuring, powdered caramel perfume. Vanillary settles on the skin for a long-lasting warmth that's difficult to resist.

Sometimes, I find vanilla scented products too sweet but Vanillary has some depth to it. It's not strong, nor sickly, and is wonderfully easy to apply. The perfume is, of course, solid but it melts into your fingertips and glides easily onto your skin. At first sniff it reminds me of vanilla beans but as I wear it throughout the day I'm reminded of homemade chocolate chip cookies {minus the chocolate of course}. 

Vanillary Solid Perfume retails for $9.95 and comes in a compact 12 g tub that's easy to open and close. You can purchase it online and in store. 


adventures in awesome|snow time in the hunter valley

Recently we made the two hour trek to the Hunter Valley Gardens to see some snow and it was one of my most favourite days spent with Husband and B. 

Before I get started on the epic raving I do feel I need to say this -- the pictures on their website may make you disappointed when you see the real thing. It's not as snowy and lush as they'd lead you to believe. And, I must admit, after we'd handed over $82 {the price of entry for 2 adults and 1 child} and walked up through the gardens we wanted to walk right back out again. But -- see aforementioned long drive and large entry fee -- we persevered and after a rocky start I can honestly say it was amazing and as soon as we left we wanted to go back again. 

Your ticket will include entry to the majority of the attractions including the Ice Toboggan, Ice Skating & the snow areas. You also get Face Painting, the Snowball Challenge, Inflatables and Arcade Alley included in that entry cost. The rest of the stuff -- Swing Chairs, Carousel, Ferris Wheel and HVG Super Slide all need to be purchased separately. You can buy tokens for $2 each or unlimited ride wristbands for $15. We went with the bands which ended up being the better deal, however, you need to buy one each even if the adults are switching turns {why do places do this?}

This is my favourite photo of the day/night. Husband and B. were the only ones brave enough to go down the toboggan. B. loved it so much that she insisted on multiple rides. I, of course, was too scared but I did conquer my fear of heights and, you know, death, and braved the Super Slide with B.

& I know I whined about the "snow" earlier but once you get used to the idea that it's not going to be anything like you imagined {or they pictured} it really is stupidly fun. 

Also, can we discuss the food? Because that's my favourite part of any place we go. I've been dreaming of that cheese kransky hot dog from Cook'n Kranskys since we left and am trying to decide if it's worth it to go back just for the deliciousness {I think, yes}. Aside from hot dogs, there's tons of places to eat and plenty of tables & chairs to scoff at. I recommend skipping the woodfire pizza place and loading up on hot dogs and loaded fries. So good.

Snow Time in the Hunter Valley Gardens is currently on until the 16th of July and I highly recommend you grab everyone you love and go there today.