on darkness

I've come to realise that life is full of inexplicable dark moments. Of depression. Of blankets. Of any form of light creating turmoil in your mind. Sometimes I crave the darkness. And sometimes darkness is thrust upon me in the cruelest ways. Of wanting to be with my family and being unable. Of craving nothing but them and, yet, being capable of anything but.

Darkness can feel welcoming but it can also be soul destroying. Isolation. Feeling out of place in the safest of environments. Feeling no sense of belonging. Feeling unloved and incapable of giving any. And sometimes it's nothing. Just complete, overwhelming, blackness that swallows you whole and consumes you. That causes your entire body to ache and your thoughts to come to a screeching halt. Of nothingness. Of being nothing. Of feeling nothing. Of seeing nothing.

It's lonely isn't it?

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be nice. unless you can be cake and then always be cake.