being mum//on friends without kids

I know it's shocking to believe that I have friends but I do. Settle down, it's not that big a deal. Happens to everyone. So, yes, I have friends. I have friends with kids and friends without kids. And, here's the thing -- I always feel bad that my friends without kids have to hang out with my kid.

I know Bailey is awesome and amazing and adorable and I never feel like she's a burden but... I just feel bad that when I am around Bailey is usually around too and my friends have to listen to her talk {because she talks a lot} and wear the jewellery she makes them and act interested in her stuff. Don't get me wrong, my friends never complain but... when I hang out with my friends with kids they have a kid that Bailey wants to play with and we barely see them. Bailey does not make jewellery for them. She yammers, sure, but she yammers to the kid mostly and ignores us.

When B. and I do stuff with my other friends there is {usually} no other kid to play with. It's just us and her and she likes to talk to them and make them pictures and go about her day as if their world revolves around her. Like I said, they never complain. They adore her and Bailey worships the ground they walk on. When I told B. two of my friends that she adores more than anything were her in case of emergency contacts at school she squealed with delight and begged Husband and I to "forget" to pick her up from school so one of "her friends" could.

I know it's not a big deal and I know {hope} that if my friends really felt bothered by B. they would tell me but I still feel bad. Because kids have runny noses and sometimes they need help finding a rubbish bin or washing their hands and sometimes they make mess. Sometimes they're easily occupied and sometimes they get bored. Sometimes they're needy and other times aloof. And as I sit there with them and B., no matter the situation, I let my anxieties get the best of me and I worry.

I worry that she's annoying them. I worry that B. and I are putting them off the idea of ever having children. I worry that they think that my child is out of control and rude and ruining an otherwise great day.

I feel like at this point I should note that I do go out without Bailey. That is a thing that happens. But, mostly, I miss that kid and I adore her company and usually we're together. And whenever we're together with friends who don't have kids I feel like I need to apologise for nothing in particular and craft thank you texts after we've left to thank them for being so lovely with B. and it's ridiculous isn't it?

Because I have wonderful friends who actually seem to enjoy Bailey's company as much as I do. And they treat us like we're family and I know I have nothing to worry about. And maybe one day I won't worry but until then I'll just continue being an anxious wreck, thank you very much. 

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