mental health//on support

When it comes to mental health I have learnt a few things when it comes to support. There will be people who love and support you no matter what. Then there will be the people who, when you tell them you have anxiety/depression/ptsd, will kind of look at you with wide eyes and then go about their day as if they hadn't heard what you said.

There will be people who are going through a hard time also and will understand that there is something beyond your control making you less yourself. There will be people who don't care and can't seem to grasp that you can't shake free from your heavy depression and have your world revolve around them. 

There will be people who don't get it but try their hardest. There will be people that just get it. There will be people who complain and stamp their foot and say how you dare not explain it all to them.

There will be people who get mad at you for keeping it all in. And then, there will people who softly, kindly, gently let you know that if there ever comes a time where you do need to talk you can talk to them. And they'll also remind you that not talking is okay too and they'll still be there six months later if you need that too.

What I've realised is one of the most important things someone can say to a person with mental illness is:

you never have to apologise to me.

And how lovely that is to hear.

Because I spent most of last year feeling guilty and like I needed to apologise to people. For panic attacks. For depression. For being unable to talk to anyone. For having swine flu and then being foggy for months after and, then, feeling so depressed that I let it affect me like that. For my marriage issues and not feeling like myself. For hating being around people and for hating having people in my home. I wanted to apologise for so many things I had no control over and mostly I wanted to apologise to those people who thought I should snap out of it.

What I've now realised is that I have nothing to apologise for and I am so grateful to have people around me to remind myself of that.

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