my very own sophia bag

If you recall I have been on the hunt for my very own Sophia Petrillo {see here and here} bag for more than half my life. I remember the first time I watched Golden Girls as a very young teen and it became a lifeline for me from depression and suicidal thoughts. I remember wishing that Sophia was my mum and I liked to insert myself into their cheesecake-filled family and pretend. I also wished/dreamed/hoped for a Sophia bag of my very own. The hunt has been long and arduous and the only bag that ever came close was a Ferragamo and, while doable price wise, was more than I wanted to spend.

And then it happened when I wasn't even looking for a Sophia and I'm in love --

I stumbled upon Wild Kitty Clothing while I was researching for another bag post {coming soon} and up popped this Banned Kara Wicker Bag and I may have screamed and then proceeded to pout because I'm currently on a non-essential no-buy and then my lovely Husband came in and urged me to buy it. I just...

Her name is Sophia, obviously. She cost $59 and she is divine. The bag is rectangular with gold hardware, red handles and flappy thing and a red gingham lining. It's actually quite roomy inside and there's a little pocket for anything you don't want roaming around. As I'm writing this there's only one left in stock so I am hoping they get more in because this bag is my ultimate must-have of the moment and I think you need one too{I also need this other Banned Wicker Bag which is similar and I plan to name Dorothy}. 

Wild Kitty is based in Australia {Queensland} and they have an affinity for pinup clothing and accessories. They ship domestically and internationally and have a gorgeous range. I opted for express shipping to Sydney and the order I made on Friday arrived to me on Monday morning. Sophia comes with her very own dust-bag to keep her safe when you're not using her {though if I don't use the one that came with my Louis I'm not sure I'll use this}.

If you love pinup style clothing and accessories I highly recommend you give Wild Kitty Clothing a peek because they're wonderful. As an aside, they also sent me a thank you email the day after my order and my name was spelled correctly and this made my life. And, sure, it may have been automatic or whatever but I don't care because it was a lovely touch and now I adore them even more.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to stare obsessively at my new bag...


mental health//on support

When it comes to mental health I have learnt a few things when it comes to support. There will be people who love and support you no matter what. Then there will be the people who, when you tell them you have anxiety/depression/ptsd, will kind of look at you with wide eyes and then go about their day as if they hadn't heard what you said.

There will be people who are going through a hard time also and will understand that there is something beyond your control making you less yourself. There will be people who don't care and can't seem to grasp that you can't shake free from your heavy depression and have your world revolve around them. 

There will be people who don't get it but try their hardest. There will be people that just get it. There will be people who complain and stamp their foot and say how you dare not explain it all to them.

There will be people who get mad at you for keeping it all in. And then, there will people who softly, kindly, gently let you know that if there ever comes a time where you do need to talk you can talk to them. And they'll also remind you that not talking is okay too and they'll still be there six months later if you need that too.

What I've realised is one of the most important things someone can say to a person with mental illness is:

you never have to apologise to me.

And how lovely that is to hear.

Because I spent most of last year feeling guilty and like I needed to apologise to people. For panic attacks. For depression. For being unable to talk to anyone. For having swine flu and then being foggy for months after and, then, feeling so depressed that I let it affect me like that. For my marriage issues and not feeling like myself. For hating being around people and for hating having people in my home. I wanted to apologise for so many things I had no control over and mostly I wanted to apologise to those people who thought I should snap out of it.

What I've now realised is that I have nothing to apologise for and I am so grateful to have people around me to remind myself of that.


friday five//the netflix 5

Five things you need to be watching on Netflix right now --

You Me Her -- if a show has sex in it I'm all there because... sex. It centers around a married couple {yes, with the chick from the Clueless TV show} and {apparently} Amy Poehler's brother and this chick named Izzy who's really sexy in a sweet kind of yes-I'd-introduce-you-into-my-marriage-too kind of way. The show is described as TV's first "polyromantic comedy" and it's actually really good. Watch it with your favourite sex buddy and have the remote handy to pause when you guys need to help each other out. 

Santa Clarita Diet -- I accidentally binge watched the entire show in a day but didn't realise that I had watched it all so devastation ensued {I'm smart like that}. I wasn't sure what to make of the show because Drew Barrymore's voice often grates on me but it's funny and gross and really just wonderful. The downside is, of course, that it's only ten episodes so be prepared for that.

Season 6 of Downton Abbey is now on Netflix and it's a must watch. I do adore the quietness of this show. It's just adorable. Maggie Smith is my hero.

New York Minute is awesome. Deal with the facts of your life and watch it. Does anyone else think every film/show the Olsen twins have done is amazing? Or... just me?

Freaky Friday reminds me of when I was younger and it first came out and I had such a crush on Chad Michael Murray and then I found out he was an absolute douche in real life and decided I hated him in the movie too. Moving on... there's just something about movies from when I was a teen that make me a really happy almost-thirty year old. Also, Jamie Lee Curtis is adorable.


What are you watching on Netflix?


on marriage & rough spots...

For quite some time my Husband and I were not in the best place. When I say that twenty-sixteen was a hard year I mostly refer to this {though the mental and physical health issues are not to be discounted either}. Last year was incredibly difficult for our marriage but through it all, and as corny as it sounds, we were still best friends. And, yet, I found myself so desperate to escape from a life with him and from everything that he's done. And I thought I found it. And then...

As the year was coming to a close I realised something. It wasn't one of those times where I'd taken the time to think things through and come to certain conclusions on my own. No such independence here. I was out with someone, a friend, and it was terrible. I had thought that getting away from the Husband was just what I needed until I was actually away from him and with someone else that it occurred to me. I am married to a man who has made mistakes, sure, but he just gets me. He isn't intentionally rude to other people. He doesn't put me in situations where I feel uncomfortable. He knows me well enough to know that I rarely speak up, that I let people walk all over me, that I'm, more often than not, too anxious and scared of the world to say what's on my mind.

This is a man who knows just when to ask if I need a cup of tea. Who knows when I get sick and vomity {which happens all too often} I need Doritos. Who still holds my hair when I vomit. He knows anxiety affects every single aspect of my life. When he has hurt my feelings he doesn't rage about me daring to be mad or sad or cross. He's always sorry for making me cry. 

He knows I guard myself with heavy sarcasm. That I am a joker and I say it like it is most of the time. Our relationship is full of wonderful things including banter that most people don't understand. I call people weird and ridiculous and he knows if I'm saying that it's because I truly adore them. He is the person who knows that I am sarcastic and jokingly mean with people I truly respect and admire. He also knows that if I'm having a conversation with someone and it isn't drowning in heavy sarcasm it's because I don't actually like the person at all. He knows I am guarded and rarely let people in.

I think, too often, we let hurt cloud our judgement and we easily discount all those wonderful things that happen when you meet someone that you just click with. It wasn't until I was faced with someone who just didn't get me at all did I realise and truly appreciate what I had. A guy who loves every single part of me. Even when I'm annoying as fuck.


watch//the girl on the train

Before I get started I just need to say this -- here's the thing I didn't enjoy the novel of the same name by Paula Hawkins. It was meant to be amazing and it was just... nothing. I felt the same way about Gone Girl. Both had a really good premise and the makings of being amazing, gripping, wonderful. Both were dull, bland, boring. Still, on this, I was excited to watch The Girl On The Train with Emily Blunt. Because I knew the story had promise even if I didn't think Paula Hawkins did.

Before watching I'd heard that it wasn't worth seeing. That the book was so much better. That is was badly acted and shot. But here's the thing --

The Girl on the Train is one of the rare examples of the movie being better than the movie. On the same par with Gone Girl. Because, let's face facts, with the latter, the movie was so much better. 

The thing is, with this film, it's bleek and blurry and takes you brilliantly into that "crazy" world that I remember quite un-fondly. That kind of mind-bogging head-smacking breakdown. Look, I don't know. I just liked it. It was good. 

Laura Prepon and her eyebrows were in it and those brows freak me out.

Emily Blunt is distracting in that kind of ugliness where you know she's not actually ugly but she just looks... distracting. The story has changed up a tad, as book to movie translations usually go, and it is, without a doubt, so much better than the book. So much better. It's as if the book is cheap chocolate that tastes like ass. It's okay if you're desperate. But the movie is chocolate that actually tastes good and has a good portion of nuts thrown in for good measure. I do love me some nuts.

That's my analogy and I'm sticking to it. 

So... yes, go watch it. And if you haven't read the book, don't bother...


friday five//current loves

This week finally feels as though we are coming to the end of this almost month long sickness cycle. Finally. Actually, scratch that, I've probably jinxed it now. Today, I wanted to share some of my current loves. Five things that have made my world go round {does that even make sense?}. Regardless, lets continue shall we? --

There's just something about an oat mask that my skin adores. Lush's Oatifix is my absolute favourite and I have been slopping it on my face multiple times a week. I'll do a proper rave review on this soon because it's just that good. I've been stupidly lazy with my skincare while I've been sick and while this oaty deliciousness didn't stop a chin-sized pimple from sprouting out under my skin it's been a lifesaver in making the rest of my face look somewhat taken care of.

Kale juice has become a daily obsession. Sure, I could make my own but I could also work out every day and not eat chocolate so... The Healthy Greens variety from V8 Juice is my absolute favourite. It has apple, spinach, carrot, celery, cucumber and kale and it tastes divine. I pick mine up from my local supermarket {it's in the long life juice section} and fill up a massive tumbler with one of these a day. I guess the only downside could be is that you need to drink it within five days of opening but, for me, that's a non-downside downside because it usually only lasts 3-4. So good.

It's weird. Clearly I am Australian and if I should be into any kind of politics it should be where I live but I have, of course, become obsessed with the American stuff. This picture is my favourite thing that has ever happened in the entire world {I found it here}.

And, speaking of American politics...

Have become enthralled with Seth Meyers. Particularly his A Closer Look stuff. And is it just me or is Seth really fucking sexy? Massive crush.

& finally -- I have become hooked on colouring with gel pens. One of my lovely friends gifted me a massive case full of gel pens {not sure where she got them but Amazon is a treasure trove}. I can barely even begin to describe just how fabulous they are for colouring. Colouring in has always been soothing/relaxing for me and the gel pens just increase the pleasure. There's something about the way they move and disperse the colour that just feels, somewhat, orgasmic. So, yes. I do have the most amazing friends and, no, I am not sharing this new found gel pen power with B. If you love to colour but hate the finish pencils give and hate that markers bleed, use some gel pens. I kind of a feel moronic that I didn't think of this before and I'm now not sure I can ever be in the presence of this friend again because, obviously, she is a million times smarter than me.

the end.


planner love//current cravings

This year I've set a goal for myself -- no planner stickers for six months. Or, should I say, no buying planner stickers for six months. It hasn't been as difficult as I thought it would be. For January, at least. But now Feb. is looming to an almost close and my gold foiled stickers are running low and I desperately feel the need to have some glitter washi in my life. So, yes, I am feeling a bit itchy... Here's some current planner cravings --

 Gold Foil Black Notes Paper -- I love a gold foil and the inserts from this shop -- Que & Co -- is all things wonderful. Black paper can seem problematic but just think -- metallic pens {which I do adore}.

Inspiration Diary Printables -- I am a list maker and am always on the hunt for gorgeous pages to organise my life with.

"Mom Life" Value Sticker Pack -- ugh, I detest the term "mum {or mom} life" but the stickers are cute and would be useful, no?

Anything from Stick With Me Shop. Her shop is often closed and when she's open her stickers go crazily fast but they are divine, hand drawn and so worth it. She's on YouTube -- find her here -- and binge watch all the videos.

Golden Girls Kit -- if anything is more necessary in this world it is this planner kit. Planner Penny on Etsy is an absolute genius and a person after my own heart. I mean... yes. I need this don't I?    

Anything from Once More With Love but particularly these Munchkins Pizza Time stickers. Pizza is in my DNA. The eating munchkins are me, just so you know. 


misadventures in parenting//all you need is nutella

B. and I have always had a love affair with Nutella. As the years have gone by we've travelled down different lustful Nutella roads. She believes Nutella and bread should be paired together and I am anti-bread. Yet, despite our differing beliefs, there is one area where we always come together and it involves a jar of Nutella {always actual Nutella, never the other stuff}, two spoons and a couch or bed.

The other day, when B. was devastated over a hand injury and no amount of hugs and kisses made the pain better I knew what to do. I left her seated on the couch, hurried into the kitchen, flung open the pantry, grabbed what I needed, wrenched open the cutlery drawer {and ditto for that too} and hurried back to her side with the goodies. B. knew just what to do because she's been doing it for as long as she can remember. Nutella jar open, spoon in jar and then mouth and then...pure bliss.

This is what we did for all those years when it was just her and I. We would take turns in hurrying to the pantry, she and I. Sometimes she would come to me and say "mum I think we need Nutella" and it was like she could always tell when times were tough. Then we would hunker down together and scoop until our hearts content. At times, I would worry that I was bringing her up to have a bad relationship with food. Heck, I still worry about that...

I like to think that food should be allowed to be a reward at certain times. It needn't always be that way and B. knows that. More often than not it's snuggles together that heals everything but sometimes, sometimes, snuggles is not enough and you need that delicious chocolate hazel-nutty goodness. 

And as I watched B. scoop her worries away I couldn't help but smile and remember, fondly, those good old days, when Husband never worked from home and I was a full-time at home mum. Before school rudely entered our lives, far too quickly. When it was just B. and I for eight hours {or more} a day and we had the most ridiculous amount of fun and shoved Nutella into our faces when life got a bit too hard. 


friday five//valentine's day gift guide

Ugh, Valentines Day. On one hand I like it fine and on the other, more pessimistic side, I fucking hate it. Roses make me want to vomit okay? If you want to show someone you hate them buy them roses on Valentines Day. Or, if you really want them to die a slow miserable death, propose to someone on Valentines Day. Gross. Anyway, some V-Day picks because why not?

Atonement by Ian McEwan -- a love story for Valentines Day, why not? Okay, fine, I want a copy of this for myself. Whatever. It's romantic, right?

Mega Babe Notebook -- because every mega babe needs a notebook telling them so and it says blah blah blah at the back so, obviously, a much needed thing in life.

I Love Us Tray -- if I knew things about life I could say that "trays are so big right now" but I don't know anything and that sounds dumb anyway. Regardless, the tray is cute, it says love on it and you can chuck some jewels or whatever on it so hooray and such. 

Met You Personal Planner -- it's got hearts on it. Buy it for the stationary lover.

Mickey Mouse Love PJ's -- because love. Also, pom pom tassel-y things.  


I know Valentines is on Tuesday and this gift guide is kind of late but, look, I've been really sick, am lazy and it's only a bloody half-assed holiday anyway. Sorry.


best beauty buys -- save

I don't know about anyone else but I get really turned on when I find a beauty product that works amazingly and is ridiculously cheap. Anyone? To me, there's just something exciting about going grocery shopping {or popping into a chemist/Priceline} and getting really delicious goodies while not spending a lot. It just gets me hot. Anyway, yesterday I did the splurge-y items {see here} and today I'm doing the save-y items because I'm adorable like that --

one. for a concealer that does it all {actually conceals, brightens the under-eye area and stays all damn day} you need the Rimmel Match Perfection Concealer. It's creamy and easy to blend -- really just a truly wonderful product but please do not use the brush tip that comes with it. Germs, man. It'll cost you around $14 {you can buy it from most places but grab it at Priceline here}.

two. if you want an amazing mascara you can't go wrong with LOREAL Miss Manga. I've loved it for years and can never stray from it. It lengthens, thickens and curls. Love it {and when used with the NARS eyelash curler it is perfection}. Grab it most anywhere for around $22 and fall in instantaneous love {pick it up at Priceline here}.

three. the perfect under eye concealer comes from Maybelline. Instant Age Rewind actually does erase dark circles and it doesn't crease or settle into fine lines. Look, the puffy sponge packaging thing isn't ideal but what are you going to do? You can grab it for around $19 {find it at Priceline here} and try it around your nose to hide any redness why don't you?


So, tell me, what save-y items top your holy grail list?


best beauty buys -- splurge

Since I'm such a beauty expert I figured it was essential to share my favourite splurge items. Because yes --

one. look, you need this Hourglass Ambient Lighting Palette don't even try and deny it. If you're in Australia you can purchase it at Mecca and it's going to set you back $90 but it's worth it. Promise. With three luxurious powders it's well worth the price tag and it's ridiculously luscious. 

two. technically, I guess, any fragrance could be considered a splurge but the Chanel Chance Eau Tendre is lovely and decadent. Buy it at a proper Chanel beauty store just for the experience of it. You'll pay just over $100-$180-ish depending on which version you pick up but you must go for the pink version in the Chance range and you'll smell simply divine.

three. out of all the Naked palettes, the first one is still my favourite. Urban Decay does shadow better than anyone. If you're in Australia you can purchase the Urban Decay Naked Palette from Mecca for $83. And you get a double-ended brush with it so win, obviously.

four. if you're using a cheap eyelash curler you're an idiot. I speak from experience. I was that idiot {okay, fine, I'm still an idiot but at least my lashes no longer get ripped out}. Instead of going for Shu I say you go for the NARS eyelash curler even though it's tricky to find and quite often sold out {Amazon has it here for just under $30}.

five. I did do a review of these Comfort Zone Sublime Skin Eye Patch Masks from RY not too long ago {see here} but since then these eye masks have grown to become my all time favourite masking product. I like to leave mine on for 30-60 minutes and afterwards your under-eye area is just wonderfully transformed to look like you haven't had a bad night sleep in your entire life. True story. They come in a pack of six {two patches per pack} and are $84.

six. yes, another Hourglass product... but, look, I have both and I tell you I need both. The Ambient Lighting Edit - Surreal Light - is all things amazing {and then some}. You get everything you ever need in a face palette and the Surreal Bronze Light shade is great for cheeks and sweeping over the lid. Multi-functional products are a must. Like so many others mentioned here, if you're in Aus, pick yours up at Mecca. It'll set you back {or will it set you forward?} $116. 


So, what splurge-y items can't you live without? Share your wisdom with me you must.


friday five//things to watch

Iris -- I have just watched this and I am obsessed. Iris is just divine isn't she? She's adorable and sweet and her style is incredible. Love her. Love this.

The September Issue -- okay, so this is an oldie but it's a goodie and after watching Iris I felt an intense need to watch this. Grace Coddington just makes it doesn't she?

Lagerfeld Confidential -- if you haven't seen this you need to. Karl is, of course, a genius and just so himself that it hurts to not be as amazingly eccentric as he is.

This Is Us -- sure, it's a cliche in some parts but other than a certain amount of obviousness it's kind of heart-wrenchingly real.

Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events -- One day, when B. and Husband decided to devastate my self-esteem by watching Inside Out, I hid away in my bedroom and turned to Netflix and their imagining of A Series of Unfortunate Events. I have never watched the film and never read the books but after devouring all eight episodes I see, now, what a shame that really is. I love the dark humour in the show, it feels very me, and I, of course, love the stupidity of the adults, the singing, Count Olaf and the wonderful darkness. So good. Go binge watch it now. 


word-ly struggle...

I am now old enough and wise enough {?} to know that there are just some things I am never going to be good at. I'm also at a point where I know my strengths and writing is most certainly one of them. Not to toot my own horn but I feel like I have quite a grip on this whole writing thing. It has always come easily to me and has always been something I've enjoyed. But I have now come to the realisation that there are some words I am never going to able to spell. I have spent many years trying to remember how to spell certain words. Have tried to drill them into my brain. Have used them consistently to just try and remember and I just can't. I like to think I have a handle on the English language, that I know grammar, that I know how to spin a tale and, yet, I can not, for the life of me remember to how to spell some words, no matter how hard I try. Case in point --





I just can't. So I resort to spell-check or Google and I stare at the correctly spelled words as hard as I can, willing myself to commit them to memory. And, yet, every time I write them down I fail miserably. I can't see anything wrong with how I've spelled those words above. I just can't. For the life of me, I can't see how a twenty-nine year old can't spell words I'm sure I learnt in primary school but there it is, my one {as if} weakness.