11/21/2016

"sit down please mum, we need to have a conversation..."

B. patted the couch and motioned for me to scoot my body closer to hers. She's five and, yet, I felt my body tense up a bit and the immediate worry crept into my thoughts -- oh crap, what have I done wrong? Am I in trouble? Is she mad? Am I going to get grounded? The fact that my kid can't actually ground me didn't stop my internal freak out.

She sat with her legs together, tiny feet hanging off the couch, her hands clutched neatly together, tucked into her lap. She looked at me, waited for me to press pause on what I was watching {did she think I watched too much tv?} and then began:

Now mum, I'm really sorry that I blocked the TV for you. If I can see you should be able to see as well. I'm sorry.

I felt relief and then, instantly, felt bad because I knew I had to take control of this parenting caper.

I thanked her for her apology and then asked her about a tomato sauce filled rage that had occurred earlier. She apologised for it, for calling me mean, mean, mean, mean! and looked dejected when I told her that being called mean by her hurts my feelings.

She finished off our little meeting with an "I love you mum", I reciprocated and then we hugged it out. I still felt a little fear, lingering at my toes, as I kissed her on her head, mainly because I could see my own parenting techniques in her. As a parent I think I'm kind of lame. When I need to have a talk with B. I get her to sit down. I pat the surface and say "we need to have a chat". A few years ago we banned "time out" in the house. Now I'm that special breed of lame who suggests her kid goes to an unoccupied room to have a "little break" from everyone. Sometimes I tell her I need a little break and go off. Sure enough, a few minutes later we're snuggling but still... I think my lameness is rubbing off on her.

I feel as though it's here that I should now admit that I call "mum & b." meetings where we snuggle up in bed, under the covers, together and talk. I ask her if there's anything I'm doing too much or not enough of and the same for her father. We chat about why we do some things and why we don't do others. Sometimes I add in a new job around the house that we'd like her help with and she gives a suggestion at what she'd like to do better at. And then we just snuggle some more.

So, is someone coming to take her away from me soon or what?

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