11/02/2016

character flaws...?

There's this thing my Husband says to me -- not everything is black and white and I hate it. Because, see, he brings out this neat little fact when somebody has done something horrid and I'm usually sitting, arms crossed, furious that somebody could be so rude. Husband likes to remind me that everybody is human and humans make mistakes. To this I roll my eyes and pout a bit. I also like to make tutting noises because I'm terribly mature but, also, I don't think that way.

I think human behaviour can be seen in only two shades and people who lash out at others because of other contributing factors {mostly unrelated to that person} aren't good people at all. So... goodbye. I tend to close off, quickly forgetting these people exist and won't hear anything to the contrary. Husband tries to instill "forgive and forget". He likes to remind me that sometimes people have rough times and they just don't handle it properly. They yell. They say mean things. They forget that you're a person and decide you are their bane of their existence. They don't mean it...

I don't care.

Because, in my eyes, if you are good person you don't say mean things to people. You just let people be. You realise that everyone is going through a hard time and everyone has their own shit to handle. You don't drone on about how you're "so nice". You put your head down and work harder. That's it.

Half of the time I see this attitude as a great character flaw of mine. Because there have been plenty of people in my life who I have looked at and thought "nope, not a good person" and that's it. I don't believe in drawn out farewells and I don't believe in "sorry". I believe in changed behaviour and I really think you can look at someone and just know... this is who they are {which is usually narcissistic to the core}. And then I move on and I could quite honestly bump into them on the street and feel nothing.

Still, eleven years in, Husband tries to sway me. Part of me think he's scared of me {lol}. As if, one day he may cross me and see me detach myself from him. The other more rational part sees this is a man who comes from a broken family, who battles with feeling like an outsider, and just wants peace. He just wants to be liked. But I don't care about being liked and I don't care to be around people who are racist and/or homophobic {and no, I don't care if it was a drunken slur}. I don't want to be around people who lash out and who say horrible things. People who don't see depression as a real {and fucking scary} thing. No thanks.

So... massive character flaw? Maybe.

But, you know what? Most of the time I don't really believe that. I know I'm tough on people but, look, the world is a really shitty place and I don't have time for nonsense.

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