the bread loving fred

I have a dog. His name is Sir Fredrick Maxington Jedi Gaff. Or, Fred for short. He is a rescue dog. He has issues and one of those issues has to do with bread. Fred loves bread.

When I say "Fred loves bread" I mean that he guards the bread as if his life depends on it. We have a rule in our house -- don't give Fred bread! Yet, the another night as Taco night came to an end Fred gave me his "I was on the street" eyes and I felt bad so I started to break off strips of the tortilla and he ate them {I promise!}. So then I gave him the rest of the tortilla and this happened. 24 hours of growling and protectiveness. We were held hostage by Fred and his bread.

He takes the tortilla and hides it {mostly under a blanket} and then when he sees you going near the place where he has "hidden" the tortilla he freaks out and races you to the hiding place to make sure you're not going to steal it. At night he needs to sleep with the bread. He buries it just so and then lies in wait. If Bum Bum goes near the bed he freaks out and Bum Bum hides under my desk/bedside table, too terrified to move. Eventually we have to get rid of the bread because being held hostage by bread is not fun.

But, here's the thing, Fred I know you were on the street. I know you were abused. I remember meeting you at the shelter and only I was allowed in the cage with you because you were very scared and might get aggressive. I know this. I remember this. But this is taking it too far. I don't know why you are so protective of bread. Were you involved in a bread factory fire and you couldn't save yourself and the bread and now you feel endless amounts of guilt? Were you beaten with bread and now feel like bread was a second-hand victim of doggy abuse and feel protective toward it? Do you just love bread? Or has your brain been adversely affected by neglect that you've finally cracked and bread is the biggest trigger toward cracking some more?

I am concerned Fred. Really concerned. But also... really effin' amused.  

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be nice. unless you can be cake and then always be cake.