9/07/2016

being mum//kids & honesty

It may seem ridiculous and/or pointless to say this but here's the truth -- I have never lied to Bailey.

Not when she asks about Minnie. Nor Sam-Wise. Or Husband's grandmother when she recently passed. Nor family members who claim they want nothing to do with Husband or I and, so, by extension B. 

She gets the truth every single time.

She knows Santa isn't real. That he's just a "mascot" of sorts for Christmas. She also knows that we should always let people believe what they want and, so, no she isn't allowed to burst anybodies Santa/Easter Bunny/Tooth Fairy bubble.

I've never seen the need to lie to my kid. I've never seen the point. Because, see, for things like Santa, it's not like the magic of Christmas is destroyed. She gets more than enough presents from Husband and I and we still celebrate and have fun. She gets photos with Santa's at the shops and we celebrate holidays with the kid-like wonder Husband and I still embody. I don't see anything wrong with this because "lies" like these seem pointless to me.

Yet, when it comes to telling her that there are some people who have known her and claimed to love her for 5 years of her life have now cut off contact with us and haven't given her a second thought I can't help but wonder if, perhaps, lying is the best way to go. Because who wants to hear that people can be so selfish and callous? That she hasn't even rated to them? That, to them, she doesn't matter?

Of course, I can sugar coat. I do sugar coat. But I'm not going to lie to her when she asks me if she can call a relative or attend a birthday party or see somebody. She is my kid, I treasure her, and I never want to see her sad {that devastated cry breaks my heart} but I also see her as an equal. I like to parent in a way where I think: "would I do/say this to Husband?" and if the answer is no I don't do it. 

Still, sometimes it feels like it would be nice if I could bring myself to let go of the truth and just bullshit my way around tricky subjects. I know it doesn't do her any good to lie. It just provides false hope after all but, gosh, it breaks my heart that my gorgeous little five year old already knows that sometimes life fucking sucks.

Won't somebody please think of the children?

No Comments Yet, Leave Yours!