wisdom or something like it...

I'm still not entirely sure how I've been allowed to have a child for 5 years and be married for 6. Some days I sit and just think "is this a joke?" "Truman?" and then, after a moment, I just go on my merry way which mainly means I go back to being a fool. Most of the time I feel far too immature and way too fucking annoying to be a mum and a wife. Adulting is hard and I doubt I'll ever get it down. Still, on good days when I can be bothered wearing a bra and brushing my hair I do often feel wise. Okay, fine, wise-ish. Here's some random crap I'd quite like to impart on the world --


Being a parent is not hard. So don't be scared about becoming one. It's really bloody fun.

Giving birth isn't always really painful. For me my waters breaking and the placenta coming out felt worse. Sure it still hurts a lot but I got through it without drugs and I'm a massive baby that gets angry if I don't get Olaf band-aids to use on my cuts. 

Not breastfeeding isn't the end of the world. Not feeding your baby is worse so just deal with the facts of your life and get on with it.

Embrace everything about parenting and make it fun. Even if it's interrupted sleep or a bed shared with your kicking kid or not having sex for an entire week.

Being married is fun and wonderful. And if you can marry someone who you tell everything to {not poop stories, please no!} then it's really quite easy. And when I say everything I mean everything. Even the time you flirted with and pretended to like a guy at work to make your Husband jealous. Even if he doesn't get jealous so it backfires and then you have to live with the knowledge that you flirted with someone gross. Tell them that...

Embrace yourself and your relationship even if everyone thinks you're a big weirdo because your Husband is your best friend and you love nothing more than spending a night {all the nights} in snuggling with them. 

Don't care what anyone else thinks because, clearly, you're awesome.

Don't compare. Ever. Yourself {especially your body}. Your baby/child {with everything}. Your marriage. None of it. Everyone is different so, of course, you don't look like them in a bikini. Every baby is different so, of course, yours doesn't eat/sleep/develop like theirs. Every marriage and every person is different so stop the stupid comparisons and just live your life. Don't live for anybody else. 

Don't stress about losing unimportant people even if you're related. You're better off. They don't matter.

Don't let work stress get the best of you. Repeat this mantra: I'm awesome. Blah blah.

Wear whatever you want. Dance however you want. Be whoever you want.

Unless you're an asshole. Don't be an asshole.

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