7/09/2016

scars & shells

So often people and the very idea of all the terrible parts of human nature make me terrified for this world. I retreat, shrink into a shell of my former self, crawl towards the darkness just that bit more. I'm always scared for the world. Of racism and violence and hideous human beings. It feels like they're everywhere.

So often I joke that "I hate people" but, truthfully, it's not a joke. I don't necessarily hate but people are gross. People who claim to love you, love your child, who befriend those who hurt you. Who surround themselves with people who, seemingly, have nothing better to do than talk about you behind your back but always in ear shot. It's not that their words hurt because their words are meaningless. It's the idea that someone who claims to love you, who claims to love your daughter, can let you and your child be surrounded by that. Who don't care, who sit on fences, who lie.

This, along with so many other reasons, is why the world scares me. There's hideous violence and disturbing amounts of hate and, yet, there are people in this world who don't see things like that and try and make the world a better place and themselves better people. They stay stuck in high school, in the bitchiness, in the bringing others down to make themselves feel or look better. They have little interest in making anything, other than their own self-absorbed lives, better. 

So often I feel surrounded by those kinds of people.

It's frightening. 

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