j reviews//too faced better than sex mascara

Right. Too Faced Better Than Sex Mascara. Let's discuss the suck shall we? Because if this mascara is better than sex I'd like you to break it off with your partner and go fuck somebody else. 

This is one of the absolute worst mascaras I have ever used and, yes, I'm cross. I mean, Mecca how could you do this to me? To be honest, Too Faced, I really didn't expect greatness from you since every eyeshadow of yours falls all over the damn place but come on! This mascara retails for $34 and, sure, Australia's make up prices suck but this is up there for a mascara.

Your packaging is pretty and your name has that funny, naughty, novelty factor that draws people in but, look, it's not enough. You're like one of those stereotypical "hot" girls whose personality is so wretched that you can't even with them. You are that girl and you should be ashamed. Here's a list of con's I've compiled about our relationship:

1. You're a pain in the ass to wash off. Water won't do it. Neither will cleanser. Add some micellar water and you're kinda almost gone. How needy do you need to be?
2. You either dry too quickly or stay wet too long and yeah, sure, being wet is a good thing but despite your name you're not actually useful during sex so I don't know what you're doing with your life.
3. You flake and make me look one hundred. You spiteful cow.

I I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.

Seriously. Don't waste your money. Save that $34 and add another $36 to the loot and go buy yourself the Nu vibrator. Now that's certainly worth the money and when used during sex is better than any sex you've ever had. You're welcome. 

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