6/27/2016

a love affair with bed

I recently read a piece on what not to do before bed. They're everywhere and everyone seems to have the same points -- beds are for sleep & sex only but, man, if that isn't the most hideously boring life to live I don't know what is. Sure, we all have our own happy places and routines, blah blah blah, but, look, people who thinks beds are only for sex and sleeping are stupid.

My bed is my happy place. It is where I feel safest and when I'm having a really bad anxiety/depression/ptsd day I retire to the safety of my bed and instantly feel a weight lifted. My bed is comfy. My sheets are deliciously soft and fun. Bed is where family snuggles happen. Dogs are most certainly allowed and I don't want to live in a world where furry family members aren't allowed on your bed. Seriously. Who died and made you a fucking idiot?

I eat in bed. I colour in bed. I most certainly write and work in bed & TV and movies are most certainly a bedroom must.  

In our house bed isn't restricted to sleeping hours. Our bed is like an extension of our couch. We hang out in it together, snuggled under blankets and chat about our day. We luxuriate in the warmth of it on particularly cold and lazy mornings. We bounce on it. B. and I have running contests to see who can run and jump on the bed the quickest. The dogs and I snuggle up during thunder storms that terrify them.

Sure, my bed is also for sex and, sure, I might sleep easier if I switched off in bed and didn't have my phone charging near it. I might also become so incredibly bored with my life that I begin to sit in my front yard and yell at young people for breathing too loudly. 

Look, I get it, I do but, also, I kind of don't. Because who are these people that don't love bed so much that they ache for it? Who doesn't love some deliciously thread-counted bedding and slipping into it multiple times a day? Who are you people that only sleep and have sex in your bed? Do you also not have sex in cars/on couches/against walls/in showers/in public restrooms? I mean, how far are you guys willing to sink into mind numbing boredom? Someone please tell me!

Do you also not talk to your bed? Not tell it you love it and missed it? Do you wear bras all damn day? Are pyjamas not your most worn items of clothing? Do you live at all?

These are the things I ponder when I read such utter crap as "no TV in the bedroom rule". I'm sorry but where do you watch your porn?

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