on marriage...

There are a few things that have occurred to me lately  --

one. I willingly said "I do" when the vows have a section about marriage being between a man and a woman. That makes me sick to even think about. Husband says I cringed during the ceremony at that part but I still went through with it and that makes me mad. I don't want to be married if it's definition is so hideously barbaric. Fuck that.

two. Marriage is sometimes really bloody scary because even if you're married to your best friend your eyes might still wander and then you're stuck in this position of wanting/needing/craving an open marriage and now having to navigate a life with that in it. What does that even entail? 

I have nothing against open marriages because to me sex has never been about love but, man, it's tricky isn't it? Especially when the "other" person thinks it's weird that this is your marriage. But... it's your marriage and as long as you and your partner agree then it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.

three. Saying "I do" means still loving someone when they have a hideous infected toe and I don't think I'm down with that monstrosity. 

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be nice. unless you can be cake and then always be cake.