beauty//the trump trend

Look, I don't want to tell anyone how to live their life but I'm concerned. Is the orange face thing a trend now? Is this something girls {and guys, too, I guess?} are aspiring to? Because, see, here's the thing. I had my make up done for a wedding last week and the lady said to me that she was going to go just one shade darker than my usual skin tone {which is see-through by the way}. I said okay because I decided to trust her and was more focused on not flashing the whole salon my vagina/trying to keep track of my child who had, of course, befriended an older woman.

After she was done I saw my face in the mirror and, sure, it looked a bit cakey but makeup artists always seem to be a tad heavy handed and I knew I could blot later but the lights in there made me look normal. But when I got into the car Husband looked at me and commented on my orange face. He may as well have said: hey Donald I don't agree with your politics and I certainly don't appreciate you impersonating my wife and kidnapping my kid! Let's pretend he said that shall we? 

I wanted to cry. My entire face was completely orange. To top it off miss "I'll blend it really well" clearly didn't understand the definition of blending because I had orange streaks down my face. She mentioned that I needed to go a shade darker so I would look good in pictures but here's the thing -- if looking good in pictures means looking like the spawn of Donald Trump and an Oompa Loompa then I don't bloody need it!

Have we become so vain and self-involved, so desperate to look like a Kardashian and flawless in photos that we're willing to sacrifice how we look in real life? I think so. And isn't that really bloody sad? Because, look, my Husband is a really laid-back kind of guy and he always thinks I look beautiful and never thinks my bum looks big in things so if he's commenting that I look like a fucking Oompa Loompa/Trump hybrid then you know something's wrong.

And, here's the thing, it's not just this one make up lady that thinks being orange is a good thing. It's everywhere and people are contouring and buffing and plucking themselves into oblivion and they look frozen. Now, of course, if they're happy like that then fine, let's leave them to it. But, honestly, it's not a good look. Why don't you look human? Why are people embracing this whole blow-up doll-esque way of life as if being flawless is something to aspire to?

Can't we just embrace looking natural and, sure, be tan if you want to be tan but, let's face facts, there's a difference from being to tan to being orange and so many people are so fucking orange and fake that it makes my head hurt. 

I sob for society that this is the new "in" thing along with cut outs and slits and every single orange body part showing. Where did natural beauty go?

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be nice. unless you can be cake and then always be cake.