2/03/2016

we need to talk about star wars

I must confess, way back when I used to think Star Wars was much too nerdy and weird. But then I met a weird looking fellow who made me fall in love with it. For that, weirdo, I thank you. I am now an avid Star Wars fan. T-shirts? Yes please! Jar Jar Binks toys? OMG! R2-D2 pop vinyl, mug and teapot? How did you know! I buy Star Wars stuff for my entire family. Even the dogs. I love it. And I'm not ashamed of it either. Star Wars is awesome. 

My breed of fandom is very girly, I must admit. Yes, I did shriek in excitement when I saw special The Force Awakens drink bottles, cups and popcorn tubs at the cinema this past Thursday. Yes, I did spend over fifty dollars on them. No, I will not be shamed. 

Anyway... yes I love Star Wars yada yada. Moving on...

The Force Awakens. I was hooked from the get go. All of it. Loved it. Sure there was no Jar Jar Binks and, sure, it didn't keep with the canon but... there's just something about it that made me want to go fuck my Husband in the toilet. Feel me?

It just made me feel high on life. Enthralled. On the edge of my seat. Terrified. And then really really bloody sad. I cried twice during the film and then once when it was done and I tell you now I'm not really a crier. Sure, when my kid draws me the best picture of a dog anyone has ever seen I cry. Not much else gets me. Sad movies? Meh! Sad books? Unless they resemble my life/thoughts/feelings also meh! I don't cry! I hate emotions. Quite frankly they bore me.

But Star Wars made me cry and **spoiler alert** Han Solo made me do it. If there is anyone aside from Jar Jar Binks in the Star Wars universe that so closely resembles myself, who I feel a kinship with, it's Han Solo. I stay stupid stuff all the time when Husband says he loves me! I'm also hilarious and sexy as fuck. Obviously. So when a dim witted douche nugget kills Han Solo I damn well cry. I gasp and cover my mouth with my hand and swallow a boulder sized lump in my throat. Fuck.

Why?

I'm so mad and devastated. I can't even begin to explain it. Poor Chewie. 

Of course, I have Gandalf-like dreams of dear Han Solo. Han Solo The White? Han Solo The Even More Awesome? I don't bloody care. It just needs to happen.

I'm not quite sure what a Han Solo-less world looks like but it feels pretty sweaty and morose and I don't like it.

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