11/17/2015

being mum//missing baby b.

I love B. don't get me wrong. She's awesome and she's about to graduate pre-school {sob} and she makes life the best it ever was. But I miss that baby stage with her. I remember every day was wonderful even what it wasn't. Husband would come home around five or six at night and I hadn't showered or eaten at all. B. and I had just stayed snuggled up together. Sometimes she'd go in her rocker when I needed to pee or make her a bottle but other than that she'd stay asleep on me for the whole day. It was magical.

I know, I know, I'm soppy but, gosh, I loved being her everything. And then the kid decided to grow up and needed space to "move" and "crawl" and "live". Can you even?

Of course, I'm not quite being serious. I knew this would happen and I love her for being independent and adventurous and clever but I'm also so darn sad that our time together has finished so quickly.

Gone are the five days a week, eight hours plus of just us. No girls days. No shopping. Sure, I get weekends and holidays but it's not enough. I miss her. I need more. We've still got our whole lives together and I, of course, can't wait for, and appreciate, that but... the first four went way too fast.

I loved it then.

I love it even more now.

Looking back, it was the best time of my life. Just the two of us.

I gave birth to my best friend and soul mate and every minute, awake or asleep, spent with her is never long enough.

I love you B.

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be nice. unless you can be cake and then always be cake.