10/08/2015

beauty//the "holy" products that i regret

I love a good cult product. There's something about it that just makes me happy. Perhaps, it's the community behind it. The idea that we all love the same thing and we'll all happily come together to sing its praises. So it's no surprise that I picked up the Naked Basics Palette and the Australis Contour Kit. Stunning shadow and clever contour. What's not to love? Well, everything apparently...

Now, I'm a huge Naked Palette fan. Number 1? Be still my beating heart. But this? Give me a break.
Sure, I get the idea of it. Basic neutral colours for when you want a fabulous nude look but these aren't any of those. They're just boring. Explain the colours to me. Please. Venus? Boring. Foxy? Chalk. W.O.S? Blah. Naked 2? Awful. Faint? Out of place. Crave? Unusable. Because the thing to top off a really plain neutral eye is dark liner. Sure. 

The palette is just boring. Plain and simple. So damn boring I can't even. The colours are barely blendable blah-filled sacks of crap. There. I said it.

Oh, look it's a cheap and cheerful contour & highlighting kit. Oh wow, it's sold out everywhere. It must be good! Australis is awesome! Their AC On Tour Kit is the best!

Lies. All lies. The kit is shit. The browns are either mud-like, poop-like or both combined. The "highlight" colours are plain old boring and really darn chalky. If I wanted to rub myself with mud, poop and chalk I would. If it's been raining all 3 are perfectly accessible to me {so goes life with animals and a kid}.

I don't care that this kit costs under $20 it's not worth your time. A debate with Tony Abbott and Donald Trump is worth more than this pile of crumbly crap.

I guess, if you like colours that mix together in the pan and fall out when opened because they can't do their one job and just sit there until needed then, fine, go for it. Have fun. Enjoy looking like a muddy poopy chalk person. 

{although, anger and sarcasm aside, I think the colours would work well-ish for someone with darker skin. I can't be all mean now can I?}

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And those, dear friends, are the "holy" products I regret and which have now made a lovely home in my rubbish bin alongside leftover food and used tissues which is right where they belong. They have been freed. Master they are home. What an arduous journey that was.

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be nice. unless you can be cake and then always be cake.