friday five

I can barely believe that July is coming to a close. As cliche as it sounds the year is just flying by and I can barely catch my breath. Bailey is growing rapidly and before I know it she'll be starting "big school" and I'll be over in the corner with a straight jacket having a nervous breakdown. This week it's really hitting home just how fast this whole parenthood thing goes and I'm not loving it. Here's five things that have made the week a bit brighter --

Asos Little Munchkin Flats in Gold and Black. These look adorable online but I must admit that I was worried they wouldn't translate well in person. Luckily, they look even better than I imagined and I am glad I purchased both.

This mug was a gift from Husband and B. when we were in Glenbrook and it's tea perfection {view the range here}. Also, these are the lady fingers from Cons Continental in Glenbrook, also. So darn good...

This photo of Husband & I makes my heart happy. 5 years married & 10 years dating feels so good especially since we began when I was 17 and it's been hard work and people didn't get it and it feels good to prove that we were meant to be...

One of my anniversary gifts from Husband was this love bracelet which, funnily, I love. It's from Pandora and I hope to wear it always along with my infinity bracelet.

Lastly, my anniversary gift to Husband. I had this made based on the You've Got Mail poster and how Husband and I met/first spoke which was him saying to me "you've got a message". My brother's fiancee's sister made it {check her out on deviantart here}, she based the characters on us {obv.} and did the best job. The outfits! The freckles! The colours! Love it. I may have cried many times during the design process and when seeing the finished product.

Have a wonderful weekend.


watch//web therapy

This is, quite possibly, the driest, most hilarious show I ever watched -- Web Therapy with Lisa Kudrow {as Fiona Wallice, the therapist}, Dan Bucantinsky {as the hapless, Jerome} and a bunch of other stars that pop in and out with hilarious ease.

I can't even really explain why I love it so much. It's just... Kudrow uses this dry voice and she's just so uncaring and so meh and so in love with herself that she's perfect. She insults her patients and is so unethical and I love it.

If you haven't watched any episodes you need to.

At first it seems like a "in the background" kind of show but it's not {so be warned, you won't get anything done watching this}. It commands your attention and I have never laughed out loud so much watching a show in such a long time.

It's really wonderful...& you must all watch it. Watch it now!


adventures in awesome//glenbrook, new south wales

For our anniversary this past Saturday we took a little trip out to Glenbrook and made a day of it. It's the sweetest little town that's perfectly quiet and since it's not too far from where we live the trek is ridiculously easy and not really trek-like at all. 

We stopped in at 2773 for lunch and it was everything we expected and more.

Since they were still doing breakfast I ordered the plank for one. 

 Husband ordered their beef burger {upon recommendation of our waitress} and B. ordered the cheeseburger from the kids menu {she left the burger and ate the chips}. 2773 is ridiculously kid friendly and is really a wonderfully different kind of cafe. We ate indoors because there were no seats available outside {that place is busy!} but outdoors is a treasure trove for kids and B. loved it.

{also, food wise, make sure you order one -- or 50 -- of their brownies either dining in or to-go which is how we had ours. It was, quite possibly, the best brownie I've ever had}

There's chickens...

& pigs...
{& a sheep who scared the crap out of B. by baaing before I could snap a picture}

 & there's a cubby house with slide

 Later in the day we headed back to 2773 for tea/coffee and ice cream from their cart and got  to sit outside. They have heaters and blankets which were both much needed to beat the chill.

2773 is located in the heart of Glenbrook and is a must visit if you're ever in the area. Next visit we're def. going to stop by for dinner {and pizza!}. I must warn you though, they do get ridiculously busy and if you're planning to go for dinner -- make a booking!

 After lunch we stopped by the Glenbrook Village Nursery and explored. Husband picked out a blueberry tree {plant? bush?} to take home. 

If you love plants/gardening, etc it's a must.

After the nursery we had a good wander around. Must visits: Blue Dragon Books {wonderful used -- and some new -- books}, Cons Continental Deli {lady fingers!} and Little Knick Knacks {for kids and adults alike}.

& while you're in the area, take a trip to Springwood and visit: The Turning Page Bookshop and Butterfly Garden {a divine kids clothing & toys store that stocks Rock Your Baby}


the thing about weddings is...

 Husband and I just celebrated our 5 year wedding anniversary this past Saturday and in the week leading up to it we finally unearthed our wedding pictures on the CD our photographer gave us and had a look. Because, see, we are not wedding people and we certainly aren't wedding photo people which is why there is not one single wedding photo anywhere in our house. Not in a frame, or even a photo album tucked away somewhere. Just this CD whose whereabouts, for the past 5 years, have been largely unknown. This may seem really strange to some people and not so strange to others but the thing about weddings is... I hate them. Yep, even my own.

But -- wah! huh? how can you hate weddings?

Because they're not about the couple. They're about the guests. Or they're about what the bride wore or what colour the bridesmaids wore. Or the wedding is more important than the marriage. It's about dry chicken or no plus one or having to pay for alcohol. It's about inviting the woman who shares a first name with your middle one even though she causes anxiety and depression to manifest.

 When Husband and I got engaged we were ecstatic but like everything else in our lives we really just wanted to celebrate together because the idea of people knowing our private business makes us uncomfortable {says the woman with a blog}. Still we tried really darn hard to let other people in. We had an engagement party which didn't go well and we had a wedding which, after a false start, happened at a registry office {or, in the area outside}. 

We had 2 witnesses which was two too many for us because, see, we're still insanely private and to us getting married and saying "i do" was as intimate as we were ever going to get. We felt forced to have people watch us saying "i do" and gave in to what others wanted until it became too much and we cancelled our original wedding plans. We knew eloping wouldn't be taken well so we settled on a registry office and picked two people who wouldn't feel like intruders to be with us. I picked my sister {because duh} and Husband picked a good friend.

After the ceremony we spent some time taking photos which we both hated. The natural ones were fine, natural even {fancy that} but the staged ones the "kiss!" "look like you love each other" ones put a damper on things. Because, apparently, when you get married you should want everyone around and all you should want is to kiss your "i do" partner and we did, we just wanted to do it alone, or do it when we wanted and not when some photographer who didn't get us wanted.

I will always treasure the hidden moments like this that he captured but for the most part my wedding photos remind me of feeling forced by society and by family to be someone I wasn't. And that's how I felt for the majority of my life. This is what weddings mean to me. Somewhere along the way they became about all the guests and not about the couple. It's about the two families merging when, to Husband and I, it was about us racing off to go start our own. For us, to finally, feel loved and accepted for who we were.

Yet, our wedding became a stain of sorts because we felt obligated to invite people we didn't want there. We felt unheard and misunderstood. We still felt unloved.

Don't get me wrong. Our wedding was, for the most parts wonderful, and I did fall into the joy of becoming a bride. My sister and I spent the day getting our hair, make up and nails done and it was fun and perfect and everything I wanted. The four of us had fun at the ceremony {and in the transport to and from} and the reception was wonderful when we were surrounded by real family and friends who were like family. But, we also regret some invites. We felt obligated to invite two people because they were blood and that's just what you do right? 

You shouldn't. And if we could go back they wouldn't have made the cut.

So, yup, I hate weddings. Or, rather, parts of them. My advice? Celebrate your day with people who make you happy. Who are there to celebrate you. Who won't whip out a video camera against your wishes. Who won't encourage guests to do something they know you'll hate. Don't invite someone you don't want there out of pity. Invite people who made this day happen. Nobody less.

This is one of my most favourite photos from the day. Only Husband and his friend are looking at the camera. I'm looking... where? And my sister has half-open eyes {though still looks great}. So when I think of all the regret, all the drama and all the stabby feelings I remember moments like this which are so far from perfect but in the most amazing way possible.

And even though we still wished we had of eloped, I am glad we got to celebrate with my siblings and our friends because they helped get us to this point and made the night feel pretty darn great.


personally j//the day braveheart tried to kill me

Hey, Mel Gibson how does it feel being an almost murderer? Do you sleep well at night? Cause I don't. Remember that time you tried to kill me? Cause I do...

Picture it, some year, ages and ages ago, little kid me is watching Braveheart on VHS {that's a tape thing that happened before DVD. Google it} and I almost died. Seriously. I was perfectly healthy and then when it was finished I was no longer healthy.

Can you believe it? I can. It happened to me. But, seriously, it's the truth and here's what happened...

I was watching Braveheart with someone and I quite liked it which is really quite weird because it's not my kind of movie and then the movie finished and...


Can you even believe that happened? How is Mel Gibson not in jail right now?


10 years ago...

10 years ago today I was wearing a really tight pair of light denim jeans and a hot pink hoodie. I was ridiculous amounts of tired because I'd stayed up all night long {seriously} talking to this weird guy I worked with who went for the Bombers and who made me feel like I was somebody. 10 years ago today I started dating that boy. 10 years ago I had the most awful first kiss I'd ever had but... there was something different about this one. He made me feel as if this world wasn't so bad after all. I looked at him and knew I could tell him all my secrets and he'd hold my hand and listen.

So even after a truly awful first date {I picked the movie -- Monster In Law -- and paid for us both because he had "no cash". He picked dinner -- McDonalds -- even after I'd just told him I didn't like that place} something kept fickle 17-year-old me around because it was like I knew. And even 10 years on after some truly heart-breaking wrongs we're still here, together, just as we've always been because there's just something about that boy who had horrible dress sense and couldn't kiss...


friday five

You know, I always feel like writing "happy Friday, y'all" but I don't think I can get away with saying y'all. Like, Britney Spears can say it but I don't think I can. Thoughts? Anywho, five of my favourite purchases from this week. Let's go --

This bird pillow from Ikea is my new favourite home decor item. We purchased it over the past weekend at our local Ikea. B. loves it there and is obsessed with their playground {we get a beeper so they can let us know if there's trouble which lets the mind rest easy a bit} so Husband and I get to stroll leisurely through the massiveness without needing to rush. This is a plus because we get to pick up random items like ridiculous pillows and the matching tray {both are from the wonderfully named OSKEDROM range. What does that even mean? Potato?}

I'm big on the adult colouring book thing at the moment so this past week I picked up three different copies. This Decorative Designs one was at Kmart {you can also grab it online, here} and I popped it into my trolley without even checking the price. I love this one because it has black and white pages and has really intricate beautiful designs that you can make your own.

*p.s. these Staedtler colouring pens are a new favourite {though the colour range in this 10 pack is a bit lacking}.

I also picked up The Little Book of Calm Colouring which combines lovely designs and calming quotes and the Zen Colouring book from a local store but I can't find it online {and I tried man, I tried!}

 Ever since Frank released a face range I've been dying to try it and, finally, I got my hands on a bottle of their creamy face cleanser. It's not hard to get, I'm just lazy. I ordered it online at frank body and it arrived this past Tuesday. It's a dark cleanser so it looks quite ominous at first but it's not strongly scented, doesn't burn or irritate the skin and actually feels really lovely. Like, when they say "creamy" they really mean it.

Obviously there are 3 rings here which is technically cheating on the five things but let's pretend it's all just one thing and move on... Husband gifted these to me last week and I am in love with them. I wear the love and xo rings together and when I don't want to wear my wedding bands {a.k.a always} these act as a nice substitute. The ball-y ring is the perfect index finger ring.

*p.s. these are all from our favourite local jeweller but they're by Pandora 

& lastly...introducing Liam Kickass Nissan, our new car! This is the first time Husband and I have purchased a brand new car and it kind of feels really darn good but also kind of the same as buying used. Every car that we've had together {now three} has been a Nissan. We love them so we had to stay with them for nostalgia's sake. B. picked the colour, we had the windows tinted to the maximum legal tint {because that's a thing apparently} and we drove it off the lot two days ago. There was no bow but there is a sunglasses holder in the roof so I guess that's something...

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!


beauty how-to//my simple eye guide

Recently {and by "recently" I mean ages ago} I was asked to do a post on how-to do eye shadow so, here I am, ready to do a how-to post on eye shadow. But, also, I'm going to go one step further and do a how-to on my simple eye guide. Let's get stuck into it...

Use a light concealer, an eye shadow primer like Too Faced Shadow Insurance or a cream shadow like the Maybelline Colour Tattoo's in a colour as close to your skin tone as possible {or whatever you damn well please, really}. I currently use this Rimmel Match Perfection Concealer and apply gently to my eyelid to even out skin tone. 

Apply your first colour {usually a mid-tone} to your lid and blend so it's all nice and even. Don't apply your shadow all the way to the top of your brow bone {you will, of course, add a highlight up there later on}.

Apply your crease colour that's darker than your lid colour and blend. I like to do about half way along my crease. When blending ensure that the colour stays in the same general area that you applied it and that you blend enough so there's no visible line but not enough so you can't tell it's there at all.

Use your darkest colour for your outer "v". Draw a "v" on and then blend. Simple as that. Don't let the "v" take over your entire face.

First, can we pause for a moment to discuss how awesome I am at this? I mean... that don't eye/example!

Highlight with a shimmery shadow {a shade like champagne} or a pencil product to your brow bone or the inner part of your eye. Blend so it's barely there. You should be leaving the "glow" from the product and no chunks.

With a simple eye I don't use eyeliner but if you do apply it whenever you want. Same goes for mascara.

&, if you're still stuck, let's take a look at a basic shadow palette for some more ideas --

It's all in the name with this palette -- the Urban Decay Naked Basics -- 
It's as simple as you're going to get and it's actually a really fabulous palette. Urban Decay does good shadow.

& that's all she wrote...


watch//some new favourites and... a psa on safe sex?

As I post this even I'm thinking: how do you get the time to watch all of this stuff? Do you shower? Don't you have a kid? Is your house piled high with garbage? Sometimes even I don't know how I manage it but I am still a functioning person. I shower, spend quality time with my kid, my Husband and others. I clean. I write. I shop a lot. I even read. I don't know... I'm just magic I guess. But, anyway, moving on... here are some current watch favourites and a random huh? kind of one --

Hollywood Game Night -- the kind of show that's good to just have on while you're doing other stuff but it's also funny and fun. Jane Lynch is a fabulous host who can pull off the lamest jokes and watching celebrities be ridiculous and competitive and drunk is a good combo.
It Follows -- I had heard that this movie was one of the best new horror films so, of course, I had to watch it and... wah! It was okay but I found myself needing to do something else while watching to avoid dying of boredom or succumbing to sleep. The thing that follows was creepy at times but this film wasn't scary in the slightest. I liked that it wasn't too "glossy" and seemed more realistic {or as realistic as passing on something creepy through sex can be} and raw but it was just kind of dumb and seemed like a PSA for safe sex more than anything.
The Affair -- this was wonderful, so perfectly done and achingly sad. I didn't want to like a show about an affair {because bad} but I was hooked. The cast and locations are so spot on that it feels as if you're watching something real, as if it's not really acted at all and... Joshua Jackson!
Masters of Sex -- I've only just started this but I already love it. The clothes, the time, the softly spoken voices and, of course, the sex doesn't hurt either. I love Michael Sheen and Lizzy Caplan and they don't disappoint in this. I can't wait to binge watch all the seasons...

Have you watched any of these? What did you think?

And if you have any TV or movie suggestions let me know!


beauty//all my perfect imperfections

You  know, generally, I feel pretty darn good about myself. I'm pretty darn awesome {lets face facts}. But I'm also human and I have flaws and today I'm gonna share them... face wise that is --

I have blackheads {and sometimes my pores like large} and I get spotty {mostly on my chin}. I have a few random black hairs that sprout on my face and I have an obscene amount of peach fuzz. I have purple dark circles and bags under my eyes. My eyebrows are uneven and they're growing out {really well, actually} so they're all patchy. My nose has redness around it always and my face is never going to be perfect but it's perfect in it's imperfectness and it's mine and I love it.

Over the years I've learnt to never be afraid of who I am. Flaws and all. And I insist you all do the same. Love yourself, all of yourself, even if you have weird black cheek hairs.


being mum//who gives a fuck?

Look, I've deliberately chosen a title for this post that seems very double-takey but, honestly, really, truly, who gives a fuck? For the most part, this is how I choose to view parenting {and life in general, really}. Of course, I have anxiety and depression so I can't always control how many fucks I give over things but lets forget about that side of things for now because I have something to say...

were you completely hairless during labour or did you forgo the razor/hot wax? 
did you go drug free, did you get induced, have drugs, have an elective c-section? 
did you choose not to breastfeed right away, did your baby decide not to breastfeed or did you breastfeed until you and your kid were ready to stop?
did you co-sleep? use cloth nappies? did you make your own baby food? 
were/are you a stay-at-home mum? did you go back to work?
choose child care to have some sanity? or stayed with your kid 24/7?
feed your kid McDonalds? chocolate? fruit? how much???
is your kid shy? outgoing?
quiet? loud?
did you love being a mum with everything you were right away? or did you take some time?
have sex after the first 6 weeks {or earlier}? haven't jumped back on the horse yet?
do you spoon nutella into your mouth while hiding behind a door and willing yourself not to cry?
house spotless? dirty? in between?
good at keeping on top of everything? juggling balls always on the floor?

I don't actually give a fuck and neither should you.

Is your kid happy? Are you happy? Is your partner {if you have one} happy? Are you hurting anyone?

If you answered: yes, yes, yes and no then use my mantra...

who gives a fuck?

My grooming towards the end of pregnancy and def. at labour was not up to my usual standards -- meh.

I had a drug-free birth. My baby refused to breast feed and even when I pumped like a mad woman she preferred formula to my milk and, eventually, I stopped breast altogether. I made my own baby food because I wanted to. Because I found it fun.

Bailey slept in a co-sleeper bed for her early morning sleep until she slept through the night at almost 10 weeks. Then she slept in her bassinet, her cot and my arms when it was needed. She sleeps in our bed now because she's terrified of the dark and monsters. Don't like it? I don't give a fuck.

I'm a stay-at-home mum even though B. is at pre-school 5 days a week. Think I should go back to work? I don't give a fuck. Because you know what? I actually really love baking cookies, doing laundry and all the other home-y stuff. It makes me happy.

Yes, I spoon Nutella into my mouth on hard days. Luckily, B. will grab a spoon and snuggle up next to me during those times and we get through the hard together. That's just the mum I am. Not that mum? Who cares!?

My house is currently spotless aside from the glitter, play doh, sticker and food infested carpets which have needed to be vacuumed for a few days now but...meh. That's just who I am.

So, yep, whoever you are, whoever your kid is, whoever your family are, as long as you're happy and not hurting anybody don't give a fuck. Don't let judgement get you down {because, lets face it, people will judge you for everything}, the should's and the shouldn't s and all the other crap that fills parenting {and life} these days. Just do you. Just be you. And when life gets really hard just don't give a fuck...


friday five//the randomly miscellaneous edit

Hey! It's Friday! Well, fancy that... Here's 5 things of the random variety for ya' --

Tiffany Letter 'G' Disc Charm -- want to add a 'G' to my Tiffany B
random cat
The Evil Within for XBOX 360 -- have been craving this for quite some time and need to get my hands on it 
Querkles -- cause I gotta colour in and this looks fun
Cape Backpacks from Pottery Barn Kids: Superman & Darth Vader {add some extra adorable by getting these monogrammed or embroidered}


adventures in awesome//mr. crackles -- darlinghurst

Last week we headed into Darlinghurst so I could do some consigning over at Blue Spinach {will post about this when the process is completed}. On the way home, since we were "in" the area we had to take a trip to Mr. Crackles and get some crackle in our bellies. We'd never been before but have been obsessed for ages thanks to Phoodie's Instagram snaps. Oh, goodness, she made it look so good. And guess, what? Her snaps don't deceive. Rest assured Mr. Crackles is divine {unless you don't like crackle and then maybe not...}
We ordered the Crackles Classic {pork belly and Vietnamese salad on a roll}, onion rings {comes with French dip} and a cup of crackling {and B. ordered a side of chips which she loved}. 

 Mr. Crackles is a definite must visit if you're into pork & crackle but be warned that it's a hole-in-the-wall/walk-in type place with limited seating. There are 2 long tables against each wall that seat 4. We got to eat in but as the place filled up {though most people there ordered takeaway} it got a little squishy. 

The food is delicious and quite well priced. The Crackles Classic was the most expensive of what we ordered at $13. The chips for B. were $5, onion rings $7.50 and the cup of crackling {above} was $5. Drink selections were limited so went elsewhere for those {though Husband was proud because they sold Dr. Pepper}. The roll was the highlight of the lunch and the onion rings were delicious {though the French dip was a tad weird. I would have much preferred an aioli} and B. loved her chips. The big disappointment {aside from the drinks} was the crackle in a cup which was yum, yes, but was bare and dry. It might just be me, but I much prefer crackle with a little bit of meat on it. I know that I wasn't ordering pork rinds but the cup was lacking and since it was the main reason we went we were a tad disappointed {I would order it again, however, and I won't even be sad about it since I now know what to expect}.

The roll made up for any sadness, however, and the drive home that was spent snacking on cold onion rings, that stayed crispy after the heat had left them wasn't so bad either.

Of course, as soon as we'd left we were craving some more and, yes sir, we'll be back. The lure of the Crispy Pork Nacho Fries is strong people. 


beauty//first aid edit

I have been a long time fan of the First Aid Beauty brand -- their Instant Oatmeal Mask is divine. Unfortunately, FAB is one of those hard-to-find brands in Australia {or at least in Sydney} and while they're readily available online I find that I'm just not prone to going all out with skincare at the checkout. For me, there's just something special about seeing beauty items in person and taking them home with you that very day. But, hey, sometimes you've just gotta suck it up, purchase them online and wait...

FAB is one of those "worth it" brands {and not just because you can say "I'm using FAB!" though, that certainly doesn't hurt now does it?}. Here's the essential edit --

Facial Radiance Overnight Mask -- overnight masks always deter me a little because they're designed to be worn overnight and I wear an eye mask to bed so I'm always worried about the mask sticking and bothering the heck out of me. Yet, I'm still massively interested in this version, mostly because it sounds divine and, really, if it doesn't work for you at night it doesn't mean you can never use it again...
FAB Faves To Go Kit -- I always love having little travel items so I can test out products before I buy the full sizes {not because I travel... because I don't} and these look wonderful
Facial Radiance Pads -- I saw these randomly on Instagram as someone's "life-saver" product and now, of course, I need to give these a try. I do love using a good pad and, actually, I usually favour it over exfoliating
Anti-Redness Serum -- as a perpetual nose blower {allergies not drugs} the sides and bottom of my nose are always red. It's not pretty and I would love a miracle product that helps with it {though I can't help but wonder if this is just a gimmick?}
Ultra Repair Liquid Recovery -- this just sounds necessary
Milk Oil Conditioning Cleanser -- the lure of a milk and oil cleanser sounds too good to pass up
Skin Rescue Purifying Mask w/ Red Clay -- I do adore a good clay mask
Skin Rescue Deep Cleanser w/ Red Clay -- the words "deep cleanser" suck me in every time as if it works so well that you'd never have a breakout again. I know that's not entirely possible {or is it? dun dun dun} but, gosh, a deep cleanser with red clay sounds divine doesn't it? Especially for the days/nights/years where your skin is feeling so congested and yuck...

Have you tried FAB before? Do you love it? If so, let me know your essentials...