tattoo obsessed//number two

As soon as I got my first tattoo {see here} I wanted/craved/needed another one. I liked the feeling of getting one and I loved the permanence. It was even a resolution, of sorts, of mine to get a new tatt this year and for most of the year I've been thinking and dreaming and hoping of finding the perfect number two {does anyone else giggle when they hear "number two"?} And I am pretty sure I have...

^yup, roman numerals {which I never really mastered by the way}. I love my Husband and I really think marriage is, and should be, forever but I can't, and won't commit, to a tattoo about him* {he gets it, don't worry}. So what I want is the numerals of Bailey's birth date because one thing I know for sure is that kid, my love for her is forever.

*though I love this idea for couples instead of annoying ring sets

& now I get it - tattoo's are addictive. I'm filled with nervous anticipation until I can get my new ink...


weekly spotlight//origins ginzing face mask

I am quite the face mask fanatic and I am always on the hunt for hydrating and cleansing masks that make my skin feel the best it can be. So when I happened upon the Origins GinZing Refreshing Face Mask I knew it was the right one for me. And I was spot on. This mask is everything the constantly tired me needs and then more because it hydrates, it doesn't irritate my sensitive skin, it plumps up my skin to make it look more youthful and full of life and it perks me up just when I'm feeling as though I can't do this awake thing anymore and am so very tempted to put on my eye mask and sleep the day away.

I use this mask multiple times a week, never putting a limit on how many times because I favour using it when my eyes droop and collapsing on any surface seems enviable. 

The mask gives dull, tired skin an extra boost. Coffee beans energise, cucumber refreshes and hoelen mushroom soothes. It's designed to be left on for 10 minutes {though you can go longer} and then removed with a tissue.

I purchased mine in-store at Mecca Maxima {this product is currently not online but you can check out the other products in the Origin GinZing range here} for around $40 {though Mecca have been reducing their prices so it is probably even lower at current}. For more information, take a look at the Origins website {American based} here

*This is the best hydrating-type mask I have ever used and can not recommend it to you all enough. Seriously, Origins you've done well.


mutual awesomeness

^Hello, I write to you in an elevated state of soppy but I must inform you that my family {myself included} is awesome. I mean, you hear our last name {Gaff} and you think "mistakes the lot of them!" but then you meet Bailey and she's so epically awesome in every single way that she elevates Husband and I to levels of awesome that are far beyond anything we could have pulled off ourselves and you think -

gosh, that family's awesome

To celebrate the awesomeness that's basically exploding out of our ears Husband and I decided to throw Bailey a surprise "Happy You're Awesome Day". Also, we think it's highly unfair that we get special days dedicated to us as her mum and dad and she doesn't. She needs a day too, dammit! So, a day she got and September 25 shall be forever be known as Bailey's awesome day. And here's some snaps from my phone from her celebration...

^a Peppa Pig theme - a must for the Peppa Pig obsessed. There were presents, party hats, balloons, bubbles, blower things, B's own butterfly wand glow stick & a muddy puddle Peppa Pig cake

^as it turns out there are no "Happy You're Awesome Day" cards so we had to make do with a musical Peppa Pig card with some adjustments

When you're mum to a girl like Bailey every day is like a celebration of how awesome she is {pretty darn awesome, if you ask me} but it's pretty nice to surprise her with a little party like this and hear her say "thank you" over and over, see her smile and hear her say "mmm delicious" after eating some of the cake or sipping some of the lemonade that was all there especially for her.

And, also, and quite seriously, why is there mother's day and father's day but not a kid's day? That old thing my "parents" recited about it being "kid's day every other day" doesn't fly with me {oh no it don't!}. Just as we need to feel appreciated as parents I think our kids need to be too. And be shown some of that extra special stuff as well. Because, really, I'm pretty bloody grateful for this kid of mine.

So grateful that I found myself whispering to her that I'll love her as long as there are stars in the sky.

Hey, B! Guess what? I will!


friday five//if you like pine-apples {and getting caught in the rain}

This week I have become utterly obsessed with anything pineapple related. It began with a chance encounter with a ceramic pineapple jar at Kmart and ended with a lengthy Internet trawl and me happily bobbing up and down with all my pineapple finds. Here's 5 pineapple items {and while I was browsing I got the pina colada song stuck in my head and changed it to "if you like pine-apples and getting caught in the rain"}


drink & be

^you know how some mornings are hard and you struggle to get out of bed because your mattress is so delicious and the down blanket is so perfectly crinkly and you stretch out your limbs and in that moment you want to stay there forever because everything feels perfect?

that's me most mornings because I adore bed and when she wakes Bailey always comes in next to me for snuggles and we chat about her dreams and mine {she tells me what I dreamed about} and sing some songs and give kisses and I breathe in her scent on her head and that's pretty delicious too.

some mornings I need a pick me up as I ready for a day that doesn't involve spending all of it in bed, cuddled up with loved ones & this mug is perfectly me -

live bright
be you

from kikki-k {the most lust worthy store that ever came to be}


learning to live with anxiety

You may recall that I wrote about my anxiety here. Twas, the first time I really acknowledged for all the world to see that I have Generalised Anxiety Disorder and I'm on medication for it. And now? Well, now, I still have anxiety and it still swallows me whole but, mostly, it's getting better day by day and sometimes you just need to share, you know?, and, so, I think I'll do these kinds of things on the regular - an anxiety series if you will- because I'm not alone and neither are you and maybe this can help some of you and, perhaps me?

I've tried to be a good anxious person. Really I have. I downloaded apps and I borrowed books from the library but then I deleted the apps to make room for ridiculous fruit-3-of-a-kind games and returned the books unfinished for no real reason at all. I talk with the Husband a lot about it and he tells me to take the time when I need it. Grab a cup of tea and put When Harry Met Sally on and just be for a bit but I usually hurriedly slurp my lukewarm tea while trying to be a parent to Bailey and trying to tell myself to just get the eff over it.

You know, I think I've always had anxiety. As a kid I was always convinced that people were going to murder me {like the garbage man because I thought he would think I was garbage and then crush me with his truck} and I was always terrified to go home and I always felt unloved because I never saw my mum and she had a new family so why would she want me anyway? And then I got older and violence became a regular occurrence in the house and my dad referred to me as his daughter the whore around age 13 and nobody, even the people who knew what was happening, ever saved me. 

But then I got pregnant and the anxiety started happening more often and for more things. And then I had Bailey and I started to track every ounce of milk she drank and every nappy change. I chickened out of breast feeding when the going got tough because a midwife told me to grab her neck and push her on to the nipple and my mind flashed to being strangled so I couldn't do it. And then Minnie died and I saw what the car had done to her and how little left of her there was and my Husband did some shitty things while I tried to mourn. And all the other crap that happened that year and I didn't and couldn't cope and life was basically crap for the entirety of 2013, thank you very much.

And so...I think that's what really led to full-blown anxiety for every little thing. Husband driving to work?He's going to flip his car and it will get set on fire and he'll die horribly and slowly. Husband travelling by plane for a business trip? Horrible plane crash. Him walking alone at night? My mind sees him being gutted by a mugger. Bailey and I on a train? I mean... honestly, I could list a million things a day. And it never ends. How I wish it would end.

So, what? Do I just learn that this is me? Will I always be anxious and see all of these terrible things? Or does it go away and will I be forever cured and never excessively worry again? But what then? What if the anxiety stops and then something bad happens and I didn't foresee it? What then?

Anyway, I still joke and call my medication my "crazy pills". I still see only black, dancing, spots during high stress times. I still do all the things I used to but I can get out of bed now and I don't cry at a dirty butter knife on the kitchen bench anymore. I can be more. But I wonder, will I always be terrified of nobody loving me? Being left? Everyone hating me?

Does that ever go away?

^if you have any thoughts - share...


weekly spotlight//hourglass ambient powder wardrobe

I've never been one to spend a lot of money on one single make up product. I much prefer to buy quality & affordable items. For one, it means I can buy more products but I also enjoy shopping for deals - the thrill of this, I hope, will never get old. With this in mind, it was quite surprising for me to lay down $86 for one item and a powder one at that - the Hourglass Ambient Powder Wardrobe.

Aside from bronzer and blush I'm not a big powder person.  I've never really set my make up before because it's always stayed quite well, however, as I get older and as my skin changes my make up has started to wear more throughout the day. Setting is now necessary and, boy, am I glad my make up is being set with this powder wardrobe.

^this limited edition palette features 3 shades: dim light, incandescent light {limited edition shade} and radiant light.

^dim light is a natural peach beige powder that is perfect for all over the face. It blurs imperfections and highlights a radiant complexion with the perfect balance of warm & cool tones
^^incandescent light is a pearlescent powder that highlights the cheekbones and brightens the complexion with an amazing glow
^^^radiant light is a sun-kissed golden beige that enhances the overall complexion with a subtle warmth

^all 3 shades have become an integral part of my make up routine and when applied sparingly add to my overall look rather than taking away from it with cakeiness as some powder products will do.
I use dim light all over my face, incandescent light as a highlight on top of my cheekbones, down my nose and on my cupids bow and radiant light is wonderful used on top of my contoured areas {under cheekbones, under chin and on forehead} for something extra {though if you're tan it would also work well as an all over colour}.

I honestly feel super giddy and excited to apply all 3 powders whenever I do my make up - something about the packaging, the quality and luxuriousness of the powders and the way they make my skin look - and can not recommend this product enough. And if you're asking yourself "do I really need all 3 powders?" {because dim light and radiant light can be purchased as individual powders} the answer is yes, yes you bloody well do. 

Best $86 I have ever spent.

*I purchased mine from Mecca Cosmetica in Balmain but it can be purchased at most Mecca Cosmetica & Mecca Maxima stores and online here


friday five

Greetings! Another a week has passed with not much happening over here. Sorry about that. This week I think I'll blame my Husband who decided to hop on a plane for a "business trip" for most of the week. What is this "business trip" you talk about Husband? Sounds made up to me. You know what annoys me about these "business trips"? That he can actually take some time for himself when I am on 24/7. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'd not want to swap places with him but, still, eating cereal for dinner while he's out eating a proper meal is not my idea of fun. Anyway, so that's what I've been doing - this full-time parenting gig is hard.

Still, I managed to get around to selecting a very-jaye friday five this week. Here goes...


^hey,wouldn't these make fabulous birthday presents for an almost 27 year old? {fancy that!}

^^guess what I realised this week? peppa pig & her family all like really piggish. like really piggish. never noticed it before? don't worry, it took me ages too.


missoni for target australia

^if you haven't heard - Missoni is coming to Target Australia {eek!}
it launches online & in-store on October 8 and excited doesn't even begin to cut it


friday five

I apologise for my absence this week. It wasn't too different from all the others but it felt busier than usual. For parts of it I was resting with bruised ribs because I'm the type of gal who moves an entire queen sized bed & mattress by myself. I regretted it while resting and then promptly forgot how bad the pain was quickly after. These are the things that make my Husband roll his eyes and sigh at me. Anyway, blah blah.

This week I've been obsessed with art/prints for around the home so this is what I'm currently coveting. Also, were you aware that there is less than one month until I turn 27? Twenty-frickin-seven. Jeebus. And isn't that a nice segue into the five for today {buy me these fabulous things won't you?}
one. lisa t rock print - xo - imaging this for the bedroom
two. pug on it tea towel - I'd love to frame this and place it... ?
three. yay! 
four. a real techniques miracle complexion sponge - I like the angle on this
five.  perfume canvas print - it's canvas so it probably wouldn't work in the ensuite but this is where I picture it


a day to celebrate the husby danza's parenting skills

Last Sunday we celebrated Father's Day {here in Australia, it's the first Sunday of September}. This family is big on presents and celebrating occasions no matter how hallmark-y so we opened presents {Bailey insisted on getting Husband socks this year, among other things}, ate pancakes, headed out for the day and spent the night in. 
Husband is a pretty good Dad. A pretty wonderful Dad actually even if Bailey thinks he spends his days checking his emails and on his phone. I adore that he teaches Bailey, holds her hand and lets her paint his nails. He's the kind of Dad who wakes up at any hour with B even after staying up to ridiculous-am working, tries to delay leaving for work to spend more time with her and then comes home to our special brand of crazy. House still messy? He don't care. Dinner not even close to being prepared? Meh. A naughty kid and a tired wife? He'll usher me off to bed with tea and keep B entertained while I rest. Seriously, this man. I didn't have a good dad or any proper father-figure but I know he's a great dad and will continue to be one Bailey deserves.

But don't tell him I said that. He's prone to getting a big head.

^he also shares his ice cream with a kid who decided her flavour wasn't a good choice after all

^he proudly takes pictures as a seahorse with an overly excited B

^& with a photo taking obsessed wife

^hey! take a picture of my outfit 100 times because every photo is crap
don't you love how I wore a sailboat dress to the aquarium/beach? if I can fit a theme I'll do it

^this guy also snaps pics of B & I walking around for what purpose?

 happy father's day husband!
you're a pretty okay dad
but, please, stop telling so many god awful dad jokes {I know we gifted you a joke book and I regret it, honestly, I do}


friday five

Today's post is going to be a little different for a few reasons. One is that I'm undertaking a no-buy for the rest of the year so online wandering needs to be avoided for the foreseeable future until I become accustomed. Two is that I'm quite sleepy and feeling on the fence about life. Am I grumpy? Or am I Gilmore Girls chatty? I haven't quite figured it out yet. Anywhoo, this peculiar state of mind leads to this friday five being all about me {as opposed to all those other times it wasn't - ha ha, not actually funny}. 5 random facts about/5 random thoughts that popped into my head as I write. Let's see how this goes...

one. I feel very strongly about Jar Jar Binks. I love that guy. In fact, I feel like there's a lot of Jar Jar in me. Perhaps, that's why I think he's so awesome {because I'm awesome too}. It really makes me sad when people tease him. Embrace his weirdness and his role in the Star Wars universe won't you please? I think if you really thought about it you'd see that there's parts of Jar Jar in you too {that wasn't supposed to sound sexual I promise}
two. I also feel very strongly about Frodo. I like to call him Frodo Douche Baggins because dude wasn't a hero! Samwise was the true hero of LOTR. Husband and I discuss this a lot but, honestly, he's wrong and I'm right. Frodo did nothing. Samwise did everything. End of story. Ugh, I'm getting angry just thinking about it.
three. Speaking of angry, is anyone else still scarred from Mr. Charrington's betrayal {1984}? I know I am. That man had me fooled and I am devastated he would betray me {and, you know, Winston and Julia} in such a way. 
four. I can't think of anything else along the same lines so I'll move on to: tea in bed is quite possibly my favourite thing. Actually, tea alone in bed. With a book or something to watch. Bliss. And being handed a cup of tea by my Husband is golden.
five. I don't understand diamonds and engagement rings/wedding bands, etc and nothing annoys me more than having to wear mine. Sorry Husband. I like the idea of it all but wearing them is so boring. Just like pants. Useless emotions the lot of them. 

& that's it for today...
^i'm going to go with Gilmore Girls chatty


j reads//gone girl review

*before you read any further you should know this post contains spoilers

^I mentioned a while ago that I was reading Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn & I have now, finally, finished. One of the first things to go when I became a Mum was my ravenous reading. It's incorrect to say I don't have time because I do but with my free time I favour being lazy and letting my brain rest so it takes me longer to finish books than it used to. Most times I put a book down and forget about it for a few months. Anyway, enough about that, on to Gone Girl.

I stand by my original description of this book:

Flynn has a wonderfully unique and descriptive writing style that pulls you in instantly. She has me hooked, drunk with her words. So far, it's the kind of book you don't want to put down but are scared to pick up because you know you're likely to devour it too soon and then, when it's over, all you feel is infinite sadness because it was gone too soon.

The writing is indeed wonderful and despite the whole "no time to read" thing I was hooked. I devoured most of it in one sitting but, and I hate to say this, I forced myself to finish it {as I said above this post will contain spoilers so stop reading now if you don't want the twist ruined/haven't read it} because I didn't like the road it took. I was convinced that something bad had indeed happened to Amy and while I didn't believe Nick to be the culprit I thought someone close to her had done it. So, when it was revealed that Amy had orchestrated the whole thing I was disappointed.

For one thing, it's meant to seem as though "Diary Amy" is a completely normal person/doting wife but as I read the fake {or what we learn are fake} diary entries I found myself not believing what she was selling and, yet, we {and the police} are supposed to read her entries and believe Nick killed her.

 Yes, Nick was a terrible Husband and person in general {anyone who cheats is, in my opinion} but, honestly, Amy's revenge is ridiculously unbelievable despite the fact that the woman is clearly mentally unstable. I found the reveal hard to swallow. It started out fantastically intriguing and finished badly.

Of course, as always, this is just my opinion. I can see why so many people loved it. Heck, I even loved it up to a certain point but, gosh, that Observer quote on the book's cover {"thriller of the year"} is ridiculous. Thriller? Tell me how. 

I so badly wanted someone to have taken her. Something untoward to have happened. Nope, she was just crazy. And then when she returns, after murdering someone, you're rooting for her to be found out. For Nick to grow and give her up. For her to be punished. Nothing... she gets pregnant after basically stealing his sperm and they stay together.

Is Flynn serious? 

Also, what was with Nick's dad? It seemed like his story was going somewhere and that despite his Alzheimers addled mind he was going to do something or reveal something about Amy. The ending was rushed, plain and simple. It was as if Flynn had a word limit and then instead of editing down she decided to just end it a few chapters short.

The first parts of Girl were amazing and enthralling. I was hooked and then I was severely disappointed when the twist turned out sloppy and unbelievable. Am I the only one to feel this way?

I was so excited to see the Gone Girl film that will be released in October that I put everything else on hold and gobbled this up and I was left with this feeling of ugh. I wished I could go back and not have picked it back up again and just left it as this unfinished book that I felt in awe of because of the beauty of its written word.

My final thoughts?

Beautifully written.

Flimsy story.

What did you think?